| Author | Message | ||
  SteveS (steves) 1-Arriviste Username: steves Post Number: 3 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.41.250.190 |
Like the inevitable stain on a new couch, I'm afraid I must drop a nasty Baby Ruth into the shiny new Soulful Detroit punchbowl. Take a look at this article from this morning's USA Today: http://www.usatoday.com/life/m usic/news/2004-04-18-worst-son gs_x.htm Are these people kidding? Where's Cher? Where's Paul Anka, Harry Chapin, Neil Diamond? Where's Babs? I thought we showed people how to do this the first time around, but apparently not. And what the hell is wrong with "Heart of Rock and Roll"? To paraphrase Winston Churchill, "Those who do not study the past are condemned to listen to remakes". | ||
Ritchie (ritchie) 3-Pundit Username: ritchie Post Number: 41 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 62.254.0.32 |
To be pefectly honest, the eighties was never my favourite decade, musically. By comparison, it made the seventies (aka "the decade that taste forgot") sound great.... ;o) (Message edited by Ritchie on April 19, 2004) | ||
Lady Mystique (ladymystique) 4-Laureate Username: ladymystique Post Number: 138 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 66.33.227.184 |
Wow interesting srticle...but the 80s did have some forgettable songs!  | ||
ralph (ralph) Moderator Username: ralph Post Number: 50 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 209.240.205.61 |
Definitely Errggh worthy Steve! | ||
douglasm (douglasm) 2-Debutant Username: douglasm Post Number: 17 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.113.12.67 |
Thankfully, Acky Breaky Heart has not shown up on my playlist....yet. I will defend "We Built This City". It was written with a purpose in mind, and was a lot better than most of the other Starship dreck. | ||
ralph (ralph) Moderator Username: ralph Post Number: 52 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 209.240.205.61 |
AHHHH! Errggh and Dreck...So good to see these two great terms have crossed over to the new forum. Now we are complete. | ||
SteveS (steves) 1-Arriviste Username: steves Post Number: 5 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 209.219.207.3 |
LadyMystique - Yes, the 80's did produce quite a few forgettable tunes. However, like a grating relative, they weren't quite forgettable enough. I wish that I could disremember more of them. | ||
Larry (larry) 2-Debutant Username: larry Post Number: 15 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 67.101.111.102 |
SteveS, I now know what's been missing in my life these many months. ERRGGH! Thank you, Thank you for giving me the impetous to decommission my Wellbutrin prescription. May I offer an ERRGGH Dreckage to the band of merry SD'ers: Steve Miller, The Joker .."i really love your peaches, wanna shake your tree.."..."lovey dovey, lovey, dovey, all De Time...". Good aural track, putrid lyric. Signed Proudly never owned a Steve Miller LP | ||
ralph (ralph) Moderator Username: ralph Post Number: 54 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 209.240.205.61 |
Keep the Errggh-age and the Dreck-age coming folks. | ||
Ritchie (ritchie) 3-Pundit Username: ritchie Post Number: 42 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 62.254.0.32 |
"Well, you're the cutest thing I did ever see I really love your peaches, wanna shake your tree. Lovey dovey, lovey dovey, all the Time. Lovey Dovey, can't get you out of my mind" - The Clovers' Lovey Dovey, #2 R&B in 1954. The "Gangster of Love" pinched it :o) | ||
tsaneladi (tsaneladi) 3-Pundit Username: tsaneladi Post Number: 36 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.32.91.222 |
Thanks for posting that article. Once I got past the idea of "list" determining good or bad, I found it very funny. A good laugh and little else | ||
SteveS (steves) 1-Arriviste Username: steves Post Number: 6 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 209.219.207.3 |
Larry, If you've got Steve Miller Band bands tunes playing in your head I wouldn't be so quick to give up the meds. In fact, I'd consider upping the dosage. A lot. The fact that Steve Miller managed to be one of the few 60's acts that stayed popular over the decades that followed is a testament to the fact that popular tastes are like the limbo - they just get lower. There was a time, long, long ago, when I actually liked the SMB. I thought about this, and realized that it was because at the end of "Livin in the USA', during the rideout, SM yells out "...somebody get me a cheeseburger". I thought that was funny, but I understood the bigger picture when I had the misfortune of seeing him in the 60's (on a bill with Paul Butterfield, who was incredible). It was ironic that he called himself Stevie "Guitar" Miller. Contrary to popular perception, I believe his middle name was chosen at random, as he didn't do much more than hold the thing and kinda waddle around. Or maybe it was a truncation of "Guitar Owner" or "Guitar Holder". I dunno. However, I do recall something interesting about the tiny bit of guitar playing he did do: He had a stack of electronic gizmos (echoplexes etc.) that caused any note he picked to come out of the amplifier approximately 3 days later. That would have worked fine for me, as I would have been far out of earshot by then, except that a few actual notes slipped out in real time, giving away the dirty little secret (that Stevie couldn't play). This guy is (was / always will be) truly errggworthy. I'm embarrassed to admit that we missed him in our previous scholarly discussions. Thanks a pantload for reminding me, Larry! | ||
Larry (larry) 2-Debutant Username: larry Post Number: 16 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 67.101.111.102 |
www.stevemiller-ergghhist.com (just waiting for URL registration) Ritchie, Nice one man. Pinched it is a perfect description. :| | ||
roger (roger) 2-Debutant Username: roger Post Number: 16 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 217.35.87.17 |
Hello Everyone. At last the forum is reviving, with some good old fashioned iconoclasm coming to the fore. Interesting to see that heading the list is "We Built This City". Does anyone else in the U.K. contingent remember JEFFERSON STARSHIP appearing on Terry Wogan's BBC T.V. show when the song was released? From what I recall he gave their appearance a big introduction explaining that they featured GRACE SLICK (no doubt as she was the only one that he had ever heard of?). Unfortunately for Terry her participation in the performance was minimal as she was little more than a backing singer on this track. However this didn't stop the cameramen from constantly zooming in on her whenever she did an "ooh" or an "aah". Lets just say she looked a bit uncomfortable and I'm sure that the real lead singer was rather annoyed by this!! Roger | ||
SteveS (steves) 1-Arriviste Username: steves Post Number: 7 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 209.219.207.3 |
Roger, I am not familiar with the word "iconoclasm". Does it have to do with the sound of one hand clapping (to put it politely)? I will look it up immediately, as I have been trying to gradually improve my vocabulary by adding a few new words every week. "Iconoclasm" has been added to this week's list, which also includes "defenestration" and "callipygian". Thank you for your contribution to my ongoing education. (Message edited by steves on April 19, 2004) | ||
Jim G (jim_g) 1-Arriviste Username: jim_g Post Number: 4 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 64.12.116.138 |
Roger, would you please explainify "iconoclasm"? | ||
Larry (larry) 2-Debutant Username: larry Post Number: 17 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 67.101.111.102 |
(if I may, Roger) Jim, Covered extensively in Brohms thesis on Greek Mythology Volume 2, the marriage of Ikonos and Catclysius resulted in a disdainful misappreciation of treasured art, hence the term iconoclasm: the revolt against veneration of sacred pictures (or in our case, music) which in itself is a misnomer and by bringing it up I will boost my Wellbutrin to 200mg notwithstanding. ...take it away Roger. | ||
roger (roger) 2-Debutant Username: roger Post Number: 18 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 217.35.87.17 |
Hi there SteveS. I think you are on the wrong track with your ideas on the meaning of "Iconoclasm" .. In case you can't find the definition it is defined in the Chambers Dictionary as "The act of destroying images that are the object of veneration : opposition to image worship". The thing I found interesting about the list of "Worst Tunes" is that most of them aren't too bad (IMO) .. it is just that if someone doesn't quite "get" a record it gets extremely annoying for them if everybody else is saying how good it is and it becomes a big hit record!! My personal list of "Worst Records" would have to be topped by "Bohemian Rhapsody" by QUEEN (and I usually call it by a slightly modified title). It has reached #1 here in the U.K. TWICE (eeek!!), I've now groan ( every pun intended ) immune to it, but at one time I found it physically impossible to listen to it all the way through and I would have to leave the room! And I must thank you for your addition to my vocabulary .. I'd not come across "Callipygian" before but I've just looked up the definition and I'd say that it seems to be a pre-requisite for many of today's female stars .. KYLIE MYNOGUE springs to mind. Roger | ||
ralph (ralph) Moderator Username: ralph Post Number: 55 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 209.240.205.61 |
I think this may be turning into one of those threads that I eagerly check first thing. Mix up a little Errggh and Dreck and throw in a big word or two and it's party time. | ||
SteveS (steves) 1-Arriviste Username: steves Post Number: 8 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 209.219.207.3 |
Roger - Thanks for clearing that definition up for me. You're right, I was definitely on the wrong track. I thought it was a Brit thing, and it had to do with the subtle distinctions between a "wanker" and a "tosser". Golly, is my face red! Ralph - "Errggh, dreck and a few big words" is probably a reasonable description of this thread. However, it also pretty well encapsulates my entire life thus far. I am going to see a man about some Wellbutrin. | ||
tsaneladi (tsaneladi) 3-Pundit Username: tsaneladi Post Number: 40 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.32.91.222 |
So much for a relaxing forum. Now I need a dictionary just to understand you folks... (Message edited by tsaneladi on April 19, 2004) | ||
john dixon (john_dixon) 2-Debutant Username: john_dixon Post Number: 11 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 64.12.116.138 |
Ah, StevieS, I love it when you speak on the pompatus of love... A new errghh thread is just what the new SD forum needs to break it in properly. I found the USA Today list no great offense, really; a few genuine groaners but you can't compare generic fare like Huey Lewis' "Heart of Rock n Roll" with some of the rancid ear-sewage we've disinterred on the old errghh threads. Roger mentions Bohemian Crapsody and my latest issue of MOJO places it at number freakin' one on the 100 greatest rock epics. I'd like to see the rest of Blender's list without actually having to buy Blender. (If you buy Mojo and/or Uncut, you can't afford another music mag!)There's no way they could have left off errghh perennials such as "Feelings", "You're Having My Baby", "Billy, Don't Be a Hero', Seasons in the Sun", "Honey", "My Way" etc.ad nauseum. Let the dreck-fest begin..... | ||
Larry (larry) 2-Debutant Username: larry Post Number: 18 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 216.23.183.2 |
Roger, Some common anagrams for your ERRGGH nominee: A HAMPSHIRE NOBODY BARMAID HOSE PHONY BRAHMSIAN DYE POOH ARABY HEDONISM HOP BRAINY PHASED HOMO http://www.wordsmith.org/anagr am/advanced.html | ||
Jim G (jim_g) 1-Arriviste Username: jim_g Post Number: 5 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 152.163.252.166 |
Dear Steve, are a "Tosser" and a "Wanker" interchangeable? I've been called both and I'm not sure if the same response is appropriate for both terms. My owner's manual offers no guidance. | ||
SteveS (steves) 1-Arriviste Username: steves Post Number: 9 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 209.219.207.3 |
I've said it before, but I must say it again: JOHN DIXON IS A FRIGGIN' GENIUS!!! The same collosal intellect that brought the term "dreckage" to this very forum now hits it over the fence his first time at bat in the new stadium with "Pompatus of Love". In case you were too lazy to Google that, it's John's way of piling on Steve Miller, certainly a worthy target of our scorn and ridicule. John, you da' man!!! | ||
ralph (ralph) Moderator Username: ralph Post Number: 56 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 209.240.205.61 |
I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. You guys are KILLING me!! The ERRGGH threads have always been among my favorites. Now I remember why. | ||
douglasm (douglasm) 2-Debutant Username: douglasm Post Number: 20 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.113.12.67 |
You know, in a way it's a bit sad that many of the overproduced, overhyped, overpadded rock "epics" aren't played much anymore because they're too long. I'd like to hear "Court Of The Crimson King" on a classic rock station if only to imagine some 19 year old who thinks "Classic Rock" is Foghat go "aaarrruuuuggghhhh....." | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 4-Laureate Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 98 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 151.205.96.177 |
Good afternoon all! Hello John! In the old forum, we had a thread where we analyzed the pompatus of music that has value to our society. We discussed songs that changed our lives forever & whose value will be treasured forever. Yes, I'm speaking of classics such as: Honey, Alone Again Naturally, McArthur Park (original Harris Version), Billy Don't Be Hero & numero uno.....(DRUMROLL PLEASE!).....SEASONS IN THE SUN!!! If you check the archives from Jan 2004 (Those Songs You Hate) & Mar 2 2004 (Ridiculous Lyrics), you'll see where we discuss the important & valuable lyrics of these songs. Yes, these songs are the conscience of us all & we'd do well to cradle them close to our bosoms. With much reverence, I bid you all adieu! Peace! Juice BTW: how did Louie,Louie & Don't Worry Be Happy miss being on this list? Ok, not many could understand Louie, Louie. | ||
SteveS (steves) 1-Arriviste Username: steves Post Number: 10 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.41.250.190 |
Juice, Thanks for the history lesson. Please allow me to add a few points. About 2 years ago, esteemed poster R&B started a thread called something like "Errggh, Songs You Love To Hate". It started out innocently enough, much like the Jan and Mar 2004 threads you referred to. People posted lists of all of the usual suspect bad tunes, and ragged on the obvious stinkers. Then something went horribly wrong, when a core group of normally civilized posters morphed into a dreck crazed mob. Soon, "Errggh" begat "Son of Errggh" which begat "Errggh: Missing in Action Part II, The Beginning" etc. etc. A special Errggh language began to evolve, in order to faciliate concise descriptions of relevant events. For example: GTINC = Good Thing It's Not Cher HCIC = Holy Crap, It's Cher Things got even worse when some posters insisted on enhancing their posts with visual aids (e.g. "The Full Goldsboro" uniform, for dealing with tunes where a courtesy flush was an absolute necessity). Eventually, Errggh reached the point where it was about to become the monster that ate the whole forum. Somehow, the posters knew it was time to let things run their course. Today's thread is just a passing nod to the original Errggh, although I must say (John, Douglas, Jim, Ralph, Larry) it's kinda nice to "get the band back together. I look forward to seeing the return of Sue, BFoster, Steve Litos, and Eddie Welk. If you would like to waste several perfectly good hours of what I am sure is an otherwise productive life, I have posted the links to some of the original Errggh threads. Should you have the misfortune to read them, you will come to understand what Dan Quayle meant when he said "A mind is a terrible thing to lose". http://soulfuldetroit.com/foru m/messages/2198/1824.html? http://soulfuldetroit.com/foru m/messages/2198/1856.html? http://soulfuldetroit.com/foru m/messages/2198/1869.html? http://soulfuldetroit.com/foru m/messages/3838/2990.html? http://soulfuldetroit.com/foru m/messages/3838/3693.html? http://soulfuldetroit.com/foru m/messages/1157/4506.html? | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 4-Laureate Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 103 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 151.205.96.177 |
Hey SteveS!! Having just discovered the forum in January, I appreciate the history lesson. I think that it's a fun thread. Hey, if they wrote it, sang it & took it seriously, they deserve a good spanking. It beats blindfolds at sundown! I'll continue my edification as regards this topic, through the threads that you so lovingly have provided for me. I feel like young Caine the weedhopper in Kung-Fu. I am honored that you would pass this knowledge down to me. Sir, I shant not forget these lessons! Humbly!! Juice the weed hopper | ||
Lady Mystique (ladymystique) 4-Laureate Username: ladymystique Post Number: 159 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 199.224.119.131 |
tsaneladi...you can borrow my Webster's Collegiate (the real THICK one)! Y'all sound like Dr. Seuss in here! | ||
douglasm (douglasm) 2-Debutant Username: douglasm Post Number: 21 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.113.12.67 |
OK, I'm game, Juicefree. For all you Piero Umiliani fans out there, try this. http://www.crapfromthepast.com /favorites/sounds/index.htm It's about two thirds of the way down, complete with label scan. The original and two other versions, and while waiting for the Muppets video to load, i had time to go out for some coffee and lemon pie. | ||
Sue (sue) 1-Arriviste Username: sue Post Number: 7 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 152.163.252.166 |
Yeow I had to wait until I got home to post; I haven't yet figured out how to log in away from the home computer ...which currently lacks a mouse. Yes indeedy, you can surf the Net mouse-less. Picture me in a Detroit beater of a computer, tearing down the street trying to catch up with y'all. "Pompatus of love" ...who knew? Millions of us listened to that tune innumerable times and didn't even question that turn of phrase. Whew. Since we're on Queen ...what about that other overblown product of the British Empire -- Rush?!! On what planet does Geddy Lee's voice sound good shrieking "Fly by night away from heeere ..." It occurs to me too, that a common thread in much of this is ...THE MULLET. Is it necessary to have hair cut in a mullet to play bad music, or does playing bad music compel you to get your hair cut into a mullet? Full disclosure: If anyone reading this has a mullet, I admire your persistence in the face of societal disapproval. I'm off to see a dog about some Wellbutrin ... | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 4-Laureate Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 107 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 141.149.45.216 |
Good Evening all! Hey Doug, that site really scares me. I have a feeling that it's gonna be a loooooong night checking out all of those little treats. Thanks for the link. Juice | ||
john dixon (john_dixon) 2-Debutant Username: john_dixon Post Number: 12 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 205.188.116.138 |
Hey Gang, Sue's here, let's put on a show! Rush=Canadian dreck. Geddy Lee, ugliest man in rock and roll? Could be.... With that voice, short stature and that proboscis he calls a nose, I always thought if you cornered ol' Geddy somewhere he'd have to give you his Lucky Charms. RE: Blender's list versus the stuff we've had to endure recalling on errghh, if I was being tortured I could handle repeated exposure to "We Built This City" but not "You Light Up My Life". One is ludicrous while the other is toxic. Big difference. Glad to see Juice on this thread. When I took the Juice photoshop tour, I thought now here's a guy who's obviously suffered a powerful direct blow to the frontal lobe region--damn near prerequisite for an errghh thread contributor! (Message edited by john dixon on April 19, 2004) | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 4-Laureate Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 110 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 141.149.45.216 |
Hey John, glad that you noticed the aftermath of my lobotomy. Just when I thought that nobody noticed..... You should check out my fanatsy entry on the new Supremes Fantasy thread. I'm currently scanning my files for more wonderful entries. I hope not to disappoint my honorable mentors. I'll do my best to make all of you proud! Juice | ||
Steve K (ltlftc) 1-Arriviste Username: ltlftc Post Number: 5 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 67.167.135.143 |
Hey John; Did you catch Geddy a few years back singing the American and Canadian anthems at the All-Star game? Strictly 'Garth' from 'Wayne's World' Steve K | ||
Larry (larry) 2-Debutant Username: larry Post Number: 20 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 67.101.87.71 |
My Wellbutrin upped to 200mg, I noticed a change this morning. Besides a mild laxative effect, I've adopted this silly grin:  Plus, this morning I watched myself burn an MP3 that I played on the way to work, albeit at low volume: Sandpipers, "Come Saturday Morning" | ||
Rodmann (rodmann) 3-Pundit Username: rodmann Post Number: 43 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 12.221.46.129 |
Did Don McLean's 'American Pie - Parts 1 & 2' make that list of the worst songs of all time? If it didn't it sure in the hell needs to be there! That song is one of the cheesiest, corniest and most SOULLESS recordings I've ever heard. From the crappy vocals to that horrible folkie/bar band backing track. It's like a vicious beating on the eardrums! I'm not sure why some Americans chose this song as an anthem of American pride out of all of the fine patriotic recordings that have been released through the years. Roseanne Barr's rendition of 'The Star Spangled Banner' is a better representation of the U.S. then that 'American Pie' crap!  | ||
Moe (moe) 2-Debutant Username: moe Post Number: 23 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 66.219.162.219 |
You totally have my vote Rodman!! | ||
SteveS (steves) 2-Debutant Username: steves Post Number: 11 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.41.250.190 |
Rodmann - Good call on the "horrible folkie/bar band backing track". I had always attributed the mantle of ultimate horrible folkie/bar band to America, the "Horse With No Name" guys. I was always puzzled by their success, cause they were sorta "Open Mike Night Gone Wild". However, I finally realized that they had an interesting concept: Write a tune with a totally monotonous verse, a drone melody, nonsense lyrics, and a lumbering rhythm that induces the dreaded "strum fever" among folkies. Keep it going way too long, and just as the listener reaches the breaking point and is about to re-enact the John Belushi / Steven Bishop guitar-smashing scene from Animal House, you go into the drippy chorus, which everybody sings along with, adding their own dreadful harmony part. You can just see the live version, where they gleefully yell "C'mon everybody" at the sleeping patron in the otherwise empty bar. | ||
john dixon (john_dixon) 2-Debutant Username: john_dixon Post Number: 14 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.58.196.3 |
Rodman, your cheese detector has not failed you re: American Pie. I used to try to cut this perfect example of platinum dreck some slack 'cause I loved Buddy Holly and liked Richie Valens and Big Bopper and approved of the IDEA of them being eulogized in song. Good intentions gone horribly awry, I'm afraid... And what in the world was Madonna thinking when she covered it a few years ago? Turned out to be her least successful single (LOL). Her version was so abysmal that it almost made McClean's original tolerable(key word: ALMOST). | ||
douglasm (douglasm) 2-Debutant Username: douglasm Post Number: 22 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.113.12.67 |
With nothing better to do this morning (it's 5:10am out here), I did a search and came up with a Blender list from 9/2003 of the worst artists in history. Granted, they have a short memory, but Insane Clown Possee tops the list, EL&P second, and Michael Bolton third, with the note "Otis Redding died for this?" Iron Butterfly ("Everything bad about the '60's in one easy to avoid package"), The Doors, Lee Greenwood and Celine Dion ("One more reason to hate the French") also are on their "chart". Sounds like these guys have some taste..... | ||
SteveS (steves) 2-Debutant Username: steves Post Number: 12 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 209.219.207.3 |
Douglas - That Blender list seems to have omitted an entire subclass of dreck. I'm speaking of the overly maudlin "I'll bet I can make 'em cry" song. Of course, any discussion of said category must pay frommage to the master himself, Bobby "the Full Goldsboro" Goldsboro (the "Full Goldsboro" is shown in the image below as part of a line of protective listening wear).  Bobby's pioneering work in trivializing intense human emotion paved the way for the likes of "Ruby" by Kenny Rodgers, the entire Dan Folgleberg catalog, in which his father manages to die 9 times, and the monstrosity by that one-hit wonder Gilbert O'Sullivan, "Alone Again, Naturally"). | ||
ralph (ralph) Moderator Username: ralph Post Number: 58 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 209.240.205.61 |
This thread has been some ride so far, as only an ERRGGH thread can be. Steve, thanks for the ERRGGH history lesson and the posting of the old threads. | ||
john dixon (john_dixon) 2-Debutant Username: john_dixon Post Number: 16 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.58.196.3 |
Hope this isn't too off-topic since it's not about a record, but it's bad and funny enough to recount on errghh.... I saw this documentary on Marlene Dietrich a few years ago and part of her story was her successful nightclub act that followed her viability as a screen siren. Of course, she couldn't sing, she spoke/sang. Remember Madeline Kahn's character, Lilly, in "Blazing Saddles"? That was a parody of Marlene. Anyway, pre-icon Burt Bacharach was her musical director during this period (hang your head, Burt, you do not get a free pass through errghh-ville). The hysterical part was Marlene's attempt to be "current" by speak/singing one of those new-fangled(at the time)protest songs. She would do--wait for it--"Where Have All the Flowers Gone?" At the climax, she would intone the line while gesticulating dramatically, "VEN VILL DEY EVAH LEARN?" It was a scream; try it and crack yourself up. Say the line in your best faux-German, emphasizing the last word "learn", the way John Houseman used to say "earn" in the Smith-Barney commercials ("they EARN it"). Makes me laugh every time... | ||
SteveS (steves) 2-Debutant Username: steves Post Number: 13 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 209.219.207.3 |
That's some frightening imagery, John. I'm seeing the long cigarette holder, and Marlene with her skirt slit high, standing with her leg propped up on a chair. Yikes! MD singing a protest song works just about as well as James Brown in "Ski Party" (a personal favorite). | ||
ralph (ralph) Moderator Username: ralph Post Number: 59 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 209.240.205.61 |
Besides has anyone ever heard old Burt try and sing?? Most definitely ERRGGH worthy. | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 4-Laureate Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 112 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 141.149.50.175 |
Hey John, when you spoke about Marlene, it reminded me of my favorite torch song appearance. It was by no other than Miss Marla Hooch in A League Of Their Own. Remember..."It hadda be yooooooooooou, it hadda beeen yooooooooou....I'm singing to Nelson, ain't I baby". Hilarious & should have been released to rave reviews. Whenever I watch that movie, I keep rewinding to that song. The funny thing is that she sang better than the star of the movie..one Madonna! Man, I better lay off the Pepsi & Newports! Juice | ||
Livonia Ken (livonia_ken) 1-Arriviste Username: livonia_ken Post Number: 3 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 136.2.1.101 |
I hereby express my hatred for the editors of "Blender" as they are responsible for that horrible Starship song being stuck in my craw. The only time anyone should ever have to hear that song is when Homer Simpson sings it. Regards, Ken | ||
douglasm (douglasm) 2-Debutant Username: douglasm Post Number: 23 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.113.12.67 |
Dora and I work in the field of merchandising, and I've just come back from spending 3 hours working in an Albertson's grocery store, and listening to their backround music. So let's take a moment and honour those hard working grocery clerks, those deticated people who stock the shelves, sweep the floor, and wait on the customer, knowing full well the high point of their musical day has been reached with the playing of David Soul's "Don't Give Up On Us Baby" on the store's music system. "If I Could Turn Back Time" came on about 15 minutes later. Actually a step up in quality. | ||
SteveS (steves) 2-Debutant Username: steves Post Number: 14 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 209.219.207.3 |
I can't quite get the chronology straight. When exactly was the turning point at which the incredibly innovative Jefferson Airplane of the 60's morphed into a succession of progressively lamer pop bands ("After Bathing at Baxters" was really a noble attempt at something or other)? Was "We Built This City" their "Last Train to Drecksville", or had they already moved on to browner pastures? BTW: Great moments in TV history - Grace Slick as a guest on the Mike Douglas show circe 1971. The perenially sunny Mike asks earnestly "so what was it like taking all those drugs Grace?". | ||
SteveS (steves) 2-Debutant Username: steves Post Number: 15 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 209.219.207.3 |
Douglas, HCIC!!! | ||
Rodmann (rodmann) 3-Pundit Username: rodmann Post Number: 51 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 12.221.46.129 |
Steve, I'm LMAO at the band America's recordings being called "Open Mike Night Gone Wild'! Ha! So true my friend! So true! I'm glad that everyone agreed about how horrible Don McLean's 'American Pie' is! I thought that everyone else loved it. For years I've been thinking that I was the only one who had any damn sense! LOL. John, Madonna's remake isn't even worth the space that it would take to mention it on this forum! You know that it's bad when you ALMOST make Don McLean sound good! The Blender list seemed to pick easy and popular targets like Vanilla Ice and Limp Bizkit so they wouldn't ruffle any feathers. While I agree with a few of the choices like that horrible 'Don't Worry Be Happy' they left the truly horrible songs off of the list! Tunes like Jefferson Starship's 'We Built This City' were meant to be mindless Pop tunes. The truly "Worst Songs Of All Time" are the bad tunes that were taken so seriously. These are some tunes that should be on that list: 'Time In A Bottle' by Jim Croce - Death on wax! I want to slit my wrist everytime I hear this depressing trash! 'Feelings' by Morris Albert - What more can I say? It's pure hell trying to sit through this. I've never tried because frankly I don't think I could make it! Almost anything by Barbara Streisand! - Does everything that she records have to be so dreary, sappy and OVER THE TOP! If you've had the misfortune of hearing one of her crappy ballads YOU'VE HEARD THEM ALL! It sounds as if this broad has been singing the same damn song over and over again for over 40 years! ANYTHING by Jimmy Buffett - What's it all about? Will someone please attempt to explain his appeal to me? Where was all of this crap on that Worst Songs list? Blender Magazine's list is a joke. I can think of a thousand more songs that are more offensive and painful to sit through than 'We Built This City'! | ||
Vic Doucette (vic_doucette) 1-Arriviste Username: vic_doucette Post Number: 5 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 67.37.84.168 |
A big errggh to any and all "splatter platters," where a young innocent dies an early death, such as "Tell Laura I Love Her." Double errggh to the worst of them, "Last Kiss," by J. Frank Wilson & the Cavaliers, as the background singer goes horridly flat in the last moments of the, uh, song. | ||
Jim G (jim_g) 1-Arriviste Username: jim_g Post Number: 6 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 205.188.116.138 |
Ahem..."See the dog, how big he's grown..." yes, it's BOBBY GOLDSBORO! "Who can make the sun shine..." the CANDY MAN CAN! | ||
Larry (larry) 2-Debutant Username: larry Post Number: 22 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 216.23.183.2 |
Ok, I'll fess up... I still like American Pie by Don Mclean. I liked Streisand's version of "Somewhere" from West Side Story. As previously mentioned, I actually like "Come Saturday Morning". And 2 from EL&P "Lucky Man" sens the putrid synth solo + "In The Beginning". I mean...can't a guy like Coltrane's "Giant Steps" AND "Winchester Cathedral"? Signed, Wellbutrin upped to 250mg | ||
SteveS (steves) 2-Debutant Username: steves Post Number: 16 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.41.250.190 |
From The Onion, "America's Finest News Source" http://www.theonion.com/opinio n/index.php?issue=4016 | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 4-Laureate Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 117 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
I humbly submit the double entries by one (bowing my head in reverence) Barry Manilow: I AM MUSIC & I WRITE THE SONGS & Copacabana. I Write The Songs has to be the most arrogant statement set to wax. He is music??? Well,uh, ok Barry, you are music............SURRRRRRRE you are. As for Copacabana, it only makes me violently ill just thinking about it. This song is pure drivel, a song that no self-respecting lounge lizard would include in their repetoire. It's songs like this that gave Disco a bad name. This & Ethel Merman going Disco. After this, you could hear ripcords being pulled all over America. Juice | ||
douglasm (douglasm) 2-Debutant Username: douglasm Post Number: 24 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.113.12.67 |
SteveS.... .....in answer to your question, NO. Jefferson Airplane (sic) released an LP in '89 with possibly their worst song ever, "Summer Of Love". For cripes sakes, even "Planes" was better than that. Now, as to Babs, I wonder if she suffers from the Neil Diamond Syndrome, where the early stuff is real good, then the artist begins to take him/herself seriously. I loved the first couple/three albums of Barbara, the "My Funny Valentine" era, but after that, she tails off like the periods at the end of my posts...... | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 4-Laureate Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 126 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
You know, it's not so bad when the writer doesn't intend to be serious. It's horrible when they are serious. It's funny when they try to be profound & it ends up sounding dumb. I often ask myself, what were they thinking? Juice | ||
SteveS (steves) 2-Debutant Username: steves Post Number: 17 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.41.250.190 |
Juice - There's a lot that could be (and already has been) said about Barry Manilow, in terms of writing crappy, sappy drivel, and redefining the lowest common denominator. Probably the nicest thing I could say about him is that at least he had the good sense to steal from Chopin. And actually, there was a guy who tried to cop BM's schtick who was much worse, if you can believe that. That would be Rupert Holmes, the Pina Colada guy. Yeah, Manilow did some serious damage, but I don't think I can lay disco having a bad name on him. It didn't need his help. | ||
douglasm (douglasm) 2-Debutant Username: douglasm Post Number: 25 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.113.12.67 |
You mean the guy that wrote that epic to good food, "Timothy" by The Buoys? | ||
roger (roger) 2-Debutant Username: roger Post Number: 21 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 217.35.87.17 |
Hello everyone. I have good news for those not willing or able to buy the magazine. Tonight's edition of "The Evening Standard" in London publishes the entire list!! Heres a link to the on-line edition. http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/ Roger | ||
Moe (moe) 2-Debutant Username: moe Post Number: 25 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.140.73.33 |
The Pina Colada Song? Errgh....... Now the dreck hits the fan....... | ||
SteveS (steves) 2-Debutant Username: steves Post Number: 18 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 209.219.207.3 |
Yup, that's the guy! Rupert Holmes is definitely a smelth bomber of the first order. He somehow snuck in under the radar and maintained a lower profile than Manilow, but squeezed out "Timothy" (a cheap attempt to pander to the cannibal demographic) and "Escape / Pina Colada" (a song about an alcoholic beverage that had people throwing themselves UNDER the wagon) and several painful collaborations with Babs Streisand where she (unsuccessfully) tried to do something "for the kids". The hallmark of the Holmes ouvre was that every song told a story, albeit a stupid and annoying one. Consider that Manilow released dozens of tunes before even his most ardent fans were embarrassed for him, but Holmes managed to beat pop music to a bloody pulp with just two stinkers. That is the mark of a true master! However, Holmes was not content to rest on his laurels. Having out-Manilowed Manilow, he set his sights on an even more outlandish, so-called artiste in an entirely different medium. A few years ago Holmes declared himself a playwright, and has since somehow managed to turn over a few rocks that Andrew Lloyd Weber missed, penning a play that required several courtesy flushes for all of Broadway (mercifully, I can't remember the name of the piece of dreck play he wrote). I find it unfair that Holmes hasn't received the recognition he deserves for the compost heap that comprises the body of work he has created. If there is a cautionary tale to be told here, I suspect it is this: Think carefully before you give a kid a name like Rupert! | ||
Sue (sue) 1-Arriviste Username: sue Post Number: 8 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 12.34.51.20 |
Hey, has anyone pointed out that Peter Wolf co-wrote "We Built This City"?? I know we all agree that there are far worse, but ...Peter, we hardly knew ye?? This from the same mind that gave us "Whammerjammer"??? | ||
john dixon (john_dixon) 2-Debutant Username: john_dixon Post Number: 18 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 64.12.116.138 |
Your fun fact gave me whiplash, Sue! Peter Wolf as co-author of "We Built This City" almost makes me want to believe that there's some subversive element to the song, at least in its demo stage, that got lost in the Starship's hamfisted execution. Singer Mickey Thomas also sang "Fooled Around and Fell in Love" for the Elvin Bishop Band, (definately not dreck). Did he also sing "Still The One" by John Hall's Orleans? | ||
Kevin Goins - KevGo (kevgo) 3-Pundit Username: kevgo Post Number: 38 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 64.115.136.66 |
Folks: The Peter Wolf who composed "We Built This City" is NOT the Peter Wolf of J. Geils Band fame. The writer of "We Built This City" is originally from Austria and has written other "Errgh"-qualifying tunes such as El DeBarge's "Who's Johnny" and "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Kevin Goins - KevGo | ||
Moe (moe) 2-Debutant Username: moe Post Number: 28 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.140.73.33 |
Kevin, See, you've been gone a couple of weeks & you just jump right in with that piece of info on the writer. No dreck, huh? | ||
douglasm (douglasm) 2-Debutant Username: douglasm Post Number: 26 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.113.12.67 |
Rupert Holmes wrote the book for Mystery of Edmund Drood, which won 5 Tony awards. According to AllMusic.com, he's aparently trying again, with a Broadway treatment of The Picture Of Dorian Gray. Maybe if he cast Dick Clark in the lead...... | ||
Sue (sue) 1-Arriviste Username: sue Post Number: 9 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 152.163.252.166 |
Boy I'm relieved if that's the case, I was thinking back on those Cinderella Theater J. Geils dates, and I just couldn't put that together with "WBTC" ... But Vic, I have to defend all those teenage death songs ...those were so over the top they were cool -- most of 'em. My favorite ..."Leader of the Pack" with the singer yelling "lookoutlookoutlookout" with that great New Yawk accent. And of course the answer song, "Leader of the Laundromat." | ||
Sue (sue) 1-Arriviste Username: sue Post Number: 10 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 152.163.252.166 |
About Manilow... I must share this. When I was at the mag, I was induced one night by a friend who was an Arista rep to go to a Barry Manilow gig. She'd get points for getting the press out since no self-respecting journalist would ever willingly go ...so I went, Jean was a good buddy. To my horror she hauled me backstage. But Barry had a surprise for both of us, when he emerged, wearing pink electric rollers, and was introduced to me, when he heard where I worked he started shrieking, at the top of his lungs ...that horrible Lester Bangs had called him a rude Yiddish term, and what kind of a rag used words like that? I'll tell you, that image ...whew. Now you know how he gets that lift in his coiffure ...ha! | ||
john dixon (john_dixon) 2-Debutant Username: john_dixon Post Number: 19 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.58.196.3 |
That's hilarious Sue, and what coincidence; that's how I've always imagined Barry Manilow offstage--in pink curlers and shrieking in horror or delight at something! | ||
Kevin Goins - KevGo (kevgo) 3-Pundit Username: kevgo Post Number: 42 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 64.115.136.66 |
Barry Manilow in pink curlers....scary.... Kevin Goins - KevGo | ||
Ritchie (ritchie) 3-Pundit Username: ritchie Post Number: 57 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 62.254.0.32 |
I'm afraid it's true - as this exclusive photo reveals....  | ||
john dixon (john_dixon) 2-Debutant Username: john_dixon Post Number: 21 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.58.196.3 |
Beverage shooting through my nostrils and damn near convulsions LMAO! Ritchie, you ain't right! | ||
Sue (sue) 2-Debutant Username: sue Post Number: 11 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 12.34.51.20 |
That's painful Richie ...although he's looking much too calm and collected ... | ||
Sue (sue) 2-Debutant Username: sue Post Number: 12 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 12.34.51.20 |
And yeah Steve, that's the sanitized version of the Manilow story ...is the word Barry shrieked permitted here? Am I being too careful? Actually I want to keep the full color version of the anecdote for the book ... | ||
GOAT (goat) 2-Debutant Username: goat Post Number: 21 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 64.228.146.208 |
Barry looks like one of the girls off of the movie Grease during one of the slumber parties. LOL | ||
Rodmann (rodmann) 3-Pundit Username: rodmann Post Number: 68 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 12.221.46.129 |
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sue and Ritchie, you two are cracking me up! | ||
Moe (moe) 2-Debutant Username: moe Post Number: 29 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.140.73.33 |
Way to go Ritchie!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! | ||
SteveS (steves) 2-Debutant Username: steves Post Number: 19 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 209.219.207.3 |
Well I'm sorry, but I can't shy away from what I know is going to be an unpopular position. I feel that I must defend Mr. Manilow. I sincerely believe that he is one of the very finest writers of songs that lend themselves to Spontaneous Recomposition Using Only Obscene Lyrics (SPRUOOL, which is not to be confused with SPRUE, ironically, a rather disgusting and malodorous intestinal disorder ). The SPRUOOL quotient of many of Barry's tunes rivals that of "Barnacle Bill the Sailor", the benchmark against which all SPRUOOL is measured. Consider "When Will I See You Again?": "When will, blah blah blah When will, blah blah blah When will, blah blah blah blah blah When will blah blah blah, again" Note the subtle nuances of phrasing, and the witty use of repitition. They just don't write 'em like that anymore! (Message edited by steves on April 22, 2004) | ||
Ritchie (ritchie) 3-Pundit Username: ritchie Post Number: 59 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 62.254.0.32 |
==STOP PRESS== You couldn't make a story up like this.... http://www.ananova.com/enterta inment/story/sm_787519.html?me nu= | ||
SteveS (steves) 2-Debutant Username: steves Post Number: 20 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 209.219.207.3 |
Congratulations Ritchie, you've just contributed the best post I have EVER seen, ANYWHERE! | ||
SteveS (steves) 2-Debutant Username: steves Post Number: 21 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 209.219.207.3 |
Did I say something about John Dixon being a genius? What was I thinking? Forget that. He's last weeks lasagna. I never liked him anyhow. I herad that HE actually wrote "We Built This City". Richie da' man (as opposed to B. Manilow, whose precise status is somewhat indeterminate). | ||
Sue (sue) 2-Debutant Username: sue Post Number: 13 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 12.34.51.20 |
The true facts are, Bobby Goldsboro wrote the words to "We Built This City" under the name Peter Wolf, so as to discredit the Woofer Goofer and destabilize the entire rock 'n' roll world, thus paving a way for a comeback of corny dreck. These are the facts, I am ready to testify. | ||
douglasm (douglasm) 2-Debutant Username: douglasm Post Number: 27 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.113.12.67 |
I'm not hear to defend anybody. Besides, it appears that the one who needs defending is leading by a nose anyway, but.... Dora and I were doing merchandising work in stores about 100 miles north of home, within the signal area of the station i liner nights for. We were listening to our morning jock when a very recognizable song came on, and immediately "Boy, if you ever wanted an eerrrrggghhhh song, this is the one for the ages" came out of my lovely wife's mouth. It was David Kersh's country version of an Eric Clapton original, one cover bands looking for a slow dance song have subjected us to for years. My nomination for song of the ages..... Wonderful Tonight | ||
john dixon (john_dixon) 2-Debutant Username: john_dixon Post Number: 24 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 152.163.252.166 |
Facts are irrelevant; lies and innuendo, that's where it's at, errghh-onomically speaking. And Richie, you are more than welcome to the genius mantle. It was weighing on me so heavily I was getting a headache. | ||
Ritchie (ritchie) 3-Pundit Username: ritchie Post Number: 63 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 62.254.0.32 |
Two masters of Horror contemplate unleashing another terror on an unsuspecting world....  | ||
john dixon (john_dixon) 2-Debutant Username: john_dixon Post Number: 25 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 152.163.252.166 |
Vincent and Bobby look like they're on the set of The Dating Game! | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 4-Laureate Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 170 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
What happened, did Barry become disoriented from system overload after hearing how truly horribly boring his songs are following the American "Idle" appearance??? Her's a snippet of the chorus of my new tune inspired by Sir Barry Of Manilow. I simply call it....BARRY! CHORUS Oh Barry...you sang & our ears started aching...from the dumb words you'd say. Oh Barry....you listened then you started falling...and you nose bone gave way. Oh Barry...Yada, Yada, Yada,etc,etc,etc. Now, if I can get the Red Headed guy to sing this, I might finally be able to quit the Post Office! Juice | ||
Rodmann (rodmann) 3-Pundit Username: rodmann Post Number: 70 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 12.221.46.129 |
OMG! All of this is too wild. Juice, you're crackin' me up! LOL. One good thing that I can say about Barry Manilow is that he produced Dionne Warwick's 'Deja Vu' which I think is one of her most soulful songs. That's one hell of a groove! It's one of those addictive songs that I never get sick of hearing. It's so hard for me to believe that Barry produced this song sometimes because it's so damn funky (in a sophisticated way). The bass playing on it is amazing. I wonder if Isaac Hayes who wrote 'Deja Vu' had anything to do with the production as well? I'd love to hear Isaac's original demo! P.S. That pic of Vincent Price and the Bobby guy does look like it was taken on the set of The Dating Game. I remember those psychedelic flowers. LOL. | ||
johneflat (johneflat) 2-Debutant Username: johneflat Post Number: 15 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 205.188.116.138 |
OK, there is some rap that I enjoy! There I said it! That being said, my current errrrgh......is the willful mutilation of beautiful ballads by speeding them up and adding hip-hop baats. I can't appreciate Luther and Chaka sounding like the Chipmunks............ERRRRRGHH HH!!!............. | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 5-Doyen Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 183 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
I agree with you Rod, Deja Vu was one of my favorite ballads of 1979. That's my favorite Dionne Warwick jam. Hard to believe that he wrote that one. | ||
Ritchie (ritchie) 3-Pundit Username: ritchie Post Number: 67 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 62.254.0.32 |
FYI, the pic of Vincent and Bobby was from the Mike Douglas Show. I just cropped it to the two of them for better comedic effect | ||
Rodmann (rodmann) 4-Laureate Username: rodmann Post Number: 73 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 12.221.46.129 |
Juice, Dionne's 'Deja Vu' is my song! It's also my favorite tune by Miss Warwick. Barry Manilow DIDN'T write 'Deja Vu' but he's listed as the producer. Isaac Hayes and Adrienne Anderson are the writers. I'm wondering if Isaac had something to do with the production of this song as well and wasn't credited because I just can't imagine Mr. Manilow coming up with such a funky groove all by himself. This is the same man who sings songs like 'Mandy' and 'Can't Smile Without You'! Isaac also wrote another seductive ballad for Dionne prior to 'Deja Vu' called 'Don't Ever Take Your Love Away' for her 1977 album "Love At First Sight". It's good but not as good as 'Deja Vu'. It's got a great intro and bass playing just like 'Deja Vu'. It sounds like it was ripped off and played in a million porn movies! I don't know how else to describe the sound of it! LOL. Those of you who've ever watched a porn film and heard this song will see what I mean! Sorry to get slightly off topic. | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 5-Doyen Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 186 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
What's up Rod! Is that the same ballad that he recorded in 1977 on his New Horizons LP??? If so, that LP has another beautiful song, It's Heaven To Me. I didn't think that Barry wrote that one. If he produced that song, he must have been drinking some soul juice. Please pardon the pun!!! Juice | ||
Rodmann (rodmann) 4-Laureate Username: rodmann Post Number: 75 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 12.221.46.129 |
LMAO @ "Soul Juice"! LOL. That's about right Juice! Something's not right about it. If he did produce 'Deja Vu' all by himself I'm pissed at him for not producing more things like it. Yes, Dionne's 'Don't Ever Take Your Love Away' is the same song that Isaac recorded on his "New Horizons" LP. I've never heard Isaac's version or 'It's Heaven To Me' but I will keep my eyes peeled for them. I'm always on the lookout for a good Isaac Hayes ballad or midtempo. 'A Few More Kisses To Go' is my favorite so far. I love that one to death! I'm sorry again everyone if this is off topic but it all ties into the Barry Manilow bashing that everyone seems to be enjoying! LOL. | ||
Sue (sue) 2-Debutant Username: sue Post Number: 14 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 205.188.116.138 |
I just hope Barry didn't wear curlers while manning the soundboard ...poor Dionne ... | ||
douglasm (douglasm) 2-Debutant Username: douglasm Post Number: 30 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.113.12.67 |
Congradulations, Sue. You hit the century mark. | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 5-Doyen Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 223 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
Resubmitted for your approval. A songwriter, somewhat confused writes a song that apparently has no lucid meaning. A singer given this song which for no apparent reason becomes a hit. His punishment...becoming a farmer & a fisherman. The moral of the story...don't sing insipid songs here in.....The AAARGH ZONE! Din nin nin. Listen to the remix, listen to the remix.... A Juicealysis on the pompatus of Seasons In The Sun Aaah yes, what lyrics, what lyrics. Good ole Terry. Let's analyze exactly it was within these lyrics that made this a #1 (for 3 weeks no less) Gold record back in 1974. Ok, here goes: GUITAR INTRO - with a touch of vibrato-excellent choice. Good way to start the song. Onward & upward!! VERSE - Goodbye to you my trusted friend. We've known each other since we were 9 or 10. Together, we've climed hills & trees. Learned of love & ABCs, skinned our hearts & skinned our knees. Ok, this is alright so far. Comraderie between two friends, You can't go wrong there. Now we're getting somewhere. I'm all set to hear a buddy song, then Terry blows my mood straight to hell with the following: VERSE - GOODBYE MY FRIEND IT'S HARD TO DIE, when all the birds are singing in the sky. Now that the spring is in the air. Pretty girls are everywhere, think of me & I'll be there. HOLD EVERYTHING!! Suddenly, Im depressed, What happened here? I mean we had the guitar intro, we had the buddy, we were playing, falling down & learning the alphabet. All was well. But now...I'm not so sure. And would it be easier to die in the the fall? In winter? What the hell does Spring have to with it. Like I would be saying, "Sure glad it's not Summer, I wouldn't wanna be dying in the Summer". HEY TERRY, old buddy...there's no good time to die! As far as the pretty girls go, it would be kinda counter-productive to be thinking about my dead friend while romancing. Terry, would it be ok if I think of you at another time, perhaps while I'm alone?? Thanks, I thought you'd understand. Then he hits us with the good old chorus, everybody join in, if you don't know thew words, hum along! Chorus - We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun. But the hills that we climbed were just seasons out of time. Ok, so exactly what joy & fun did this guy have? So far, he's skinned his heart, his knees, probably didn't learn his ABCs & it seems that there's really something tragic about to befall him. Where is the fun that he's talking about? I don't know about you, but so far, it sounds pretty grim to me. Ok, ok, maybe I'm getting the wrong message here. Maybe there's an upside here. After all, it's just 2 verses & a chorus so far. I know Terry's just getting to the fun, the good stuff. Ok, let's go: Verse 3 - Goodbye Pa Pa, please pray for me. I was the black sheep of the family. You tried to teach me right from wrong. Too much wine & too much song, wonder how I got along. The next verse is basically the same refrain as the second, except he replaces "old friend" with "Pa-Pa" & the last line which becomes "little children everywhere, when you see them, I'll be there. Then comes even more insight as we hit the chorus once more. He tells us again of the joy & fun & slickly slips in the line: "But the wine & the song like the seasons have all gone." He repeats this twice & I'm thinking, ok, we have a problem here. Ok, now I see the problem. This guy sounds like a real F---up. He freely claims to be the black sheep which only makes me think of all of the terrible things that he might have done. I respect the fact that he appreciated his fathers' guidance & didn't lay blame at his parents feet. He wonders how he got along, probably not too well! Too much alcohol usually makes a persons' gait somewhat unsteady. It seems as though this boy had some serious issues, drinking, low self esteem from being the black sheep. But... he tugs at our heart strings by reminding his dad that he'll be wherever little kids are. Now, I don't know if that's an attempt to lay a guilt trip on the old man, or, a ploy for sympathy. Either way you look at it, Terry's pissed me off. I'm pissed because he keeps insisting in the chorus that he had so much joy & fun. I'm mad because I'm obviously too dumb to see where the fun is, I'm not feeling joy here! All that I see is that this guy is fixated on wine & song. I wonder if this guy had ever learned that alcohol is a depressant? Myabe if he had, I wouldn't be hearing this damn depressing song. But wait!!! There's more, in the next verse comes hope & her name is Michelle. Maybe he'll finally come around. Let's see.... VERSE - Goodbye Michelle my little one (Goodbye? oops, that's not too good). You gave me love & helped me find the sun (another damn reference to the sun), and every time that I was down (which was apparently all of the time). You would always come around & get my feet back on the ground. He again repeats Verse 2, replacing Pa-Pa with Michelle & changes the last line with the gem (Watch out Smokey): "If a flower's EVERYWHERE, I wish that we could both be there." HUH??? If a flower's everywhere?? How could A flower be EVERYWHERE??? From listening to this song was it even possible to pick this guy up?? Arnold, Atlas & Lou Ferrigno couldn't pick this guy up. Damn, poor Michelle really had her hands full with this guy. He then finishes up the song with the chorus which reminds us of all of the joy & the fun & the seasons in the sun. Then for some real insight to this guy, he slips in the line, & I quote: "But the stars we could reach were just starfish on the beach." This is a man in need of a hug, some prosac or a slap in the head. I don't mind that he didn't achieve much in life (the starfish reference). I can forgive the drinking & dancing, I can do that. I can forgive it all. However, I cannot forgive him for torturing us for close to four minutes with this you know what. I cannot forgive this guy for playing on our sentamentality & on our emotions. I cannot forgive how several Spring days of my 14th year, received an aural downer by this guy, ESPECIALLY since Spring was in the air. Flowers were blooming, grass was growing, he were playing Softball & this guy just came along & depressed all of us. This guy is probably still hanging around somewhere in Seattle, singing the same type of dreck. And that Folks that is how you write a #1 hit record. Kinda makes you proud, doesn't it? And thought I hate to admit it..... I STILL LIKE THIS STUPID SONG & I hate myself for it. OH OH, I think ole Terry's starting to rub off on me! Of course this was written with tongue firmly in cheek : ) Juice | ||
douglasm (douglasm) 3-Pundit Username: douglasm Post Number: 32 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.113.12.67 |
Jacques Brel is alive and well and living in Juicefree20. Question: Are Brel and Rod McKuen the same person, and if so, why not? And where did Terry's ex-wife Susan end up? With Billy? Or Master Jack..... | ||
SteveS (steves) 2-Debutant Username: steves Post Number: 24 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.41.250.190 |
Excellent analysis of "Seasons In The Sun", Juice! You've clearly given more thought to this song than the so-called songwriter. A few comments: 1) SITS is an example of what happens when inept songwriters "go introspective", much the way that some deeply troubled employees of the U.S. Postal Service "go postal". The net result is that the songwriter earnestly lays bare his/her soul, only to reveal that deep, deep inside, they are really, really shallow. For additional examples of the genre, see Chapin, Harry, or the truly embarrasing POS "I've Never Been to Me", which I believe was written by Allan Smithee. 2) Keen ear on the vibrato guitar. Guitar amplifiers of 60's vintage almost always included vibrato, an effect that was popular for the "surf guitar" sound, and for the weekly Robert Stack Acid Trip scene that would take place on "The Name of The Game" TV show when some miscreant would spike Bob's club soda on the rocks with LSD (rumor has it that Bob's scenery-chewing portrayals of a really stiff guy tripping were the inspiration for Big Bill Shatner's subsequent career, but I digress). Vibrato was an effect that simulated listening to music while repeatedly turning the volume knob from min to max as quickly as possible (unless, you do it really slowly, which affords an extremely realistic emulation of seasickness). Although this is still my preferred way to listen to most music, inexplicably, it did not catch on. However it gave us youngsters something to twiddle with on our high-quality Sears / Slivertone amplifiers which were built into the cases of our high-quality Sears / Silvertone guitars. The use of vibrato on SITS suggests that the producer was an individual who was determined to get his money's worth out of his amplifier, and use every available feature on the record. Frankly, I am quite surprised that he did not also kick the amplifier in order to take full advantage of the convincing thunder effect provided by the high-quality spring reverb. 3. You state "This is a man in need of a hug, some prosac or a slap in the head." Who isn't? (Message edited by steves on April 23, 2004) (Message edited by steves on April 23, 2004) (Message edited by steves on April 24, 2004) | ||
SteveS (steves) 2-Debutant Username: steves Post Number: 25 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.41.250.190 |
BTW, Juice, much like John's Dixon's contribution of the term "dreckage" to the original errggh thread, I believe that your "friend's" use of the phrase "euthanistically speaking" on another thread has also left an indelible stain on the porcelain. Nice work! | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 5-Doyen Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 226 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
Thank you Steve. Yes, that old phrase "euthanistically speaking" gets them every time. Yes, I've felt the gentle pop of a hand slapping my head on a few ocassions, though not recently. BTW, Steve, I don't know how to tell you this but........................... ...................I am............................ ...............a Postal worker. (Cue music from shower scene of Psycho) I hope that this wont affect our friendship! | ||
SteveS (steves) 2-Debutant Username: steves Post Number: 26 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.41.250.190 |
That's OK, Juice, just don't "go introspective" on us! | ||
tsaneladi (tsaneladi) 3-Pundit Username: tsaneladi Post Number: 58 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.32.91.222 |
I remember a time when the "sensitive artists" were tolerated because they had something to say. Then came Manilow... | ||
Sue (sue) 2-Debutant Username: sue Post Number: 21 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 64.12.116.138 |
"Seasons in the Sun" needed no help from Manilow to stink up our world. I can think of a lot of other pre-Manilow introspection that belongs in a toxic dump. How about my old non-favorite, "Angel of the Morning"? Cringingly bad, with its maudlin arrangement, oddly military drums and those lyrics dripping with self-loathing ...yeow! And Juice, you've stumbled upon a whole genre that could be brought up here -- the downer song disguised as upbeat. Like, "Please Release Me" by Englebert H. How many misguided bridal couples have danced to that one cheek to cheek?? "For I don't love you anymooooooore ...." | ||
SteveS (steves) 2-Debutant Username: steves Post Number: 27 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.41.250.190 |
I once heard somebody refer to that Engledirt tune as "Please Regrease Me". Now there's a shoe that fits! | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 5-Doyen Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 227 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 56.0.100.100 |
Why, Why, Why...............Delilah????? | ||
douglasm (douglasm) 3-Pundit Username: douglasm Post Number: 33 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.113.12.67 |
Sue.... .....are we going to get into that again? I'll defend Merrilee Rush a) because I like the Chip Taylor song, b) it's much better than Juice Newton's version, and c) Dora loves it, and I love my wife. | ||
Ritchie (ritchie) 4-Laureate Username: ritchie Post Number: 78 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 62.254.0.32 |
Give me Angel over Macarthur Park any time!!!! | ||
Sue (sue) 2-Debutant Username: sue Post Number: 22 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 64.12.116.138 |
Ritchie, You're kidding! That wealth of time changes, those mind-blowing lyrics ...someone left the cake out in the rain, man! The inimitable "go-go" section in the middle ... There's a certain thrill when something is that baroquely bad, whereas "Angel" is just depressing. How can a song make a night of nudge-nudge such a downer? No fun at all... That mournful French horn makes you want to kick somebody ... | ||
Larry (larry) 2-Debutant Username: larry Post Number: 24 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 69.3.132.72 |
Whitall's on a roll! Nice shots Sue. | ||
john dixon (john_dixon) 2-Debutant Username: john_dixon Post Number: 29 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 64.12.116.138 |
Yeah, well, I've got a brand new pair of roller skates You've got a brand new key. So there. | ||
Ritchie (ritchie) 4-Laureate Username: ritchie Post Number: 84 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 62.254.0.32 |
Well, my total disdain for this ostentatious sixties folly was reawakened this week (thankfully, the mind has the knack of supressing unpleasant memories) when it was requested that I work my digital magic on an unreleased cover version (by a certain well-known group). The version by these ladies pretty much replicates the original arrangement in all its go-go-glory, so while concentrating on the sound of it, I had to relive that horrendous 1968 experience all over again.... My opinion never changes, and I don't care who sings it - even the beloved Levi Stubbs leaves me cold on this one - I wish someone would leave this damn song out in the rain! | ||
Sue (sue) 2-Debutant Username: sue Post Number: 23 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 205.188.116.138 |
Oh Ritchie, I feel for you ...they kept the go-go mid-section and all? There should be a decent burial for the publishing on this thing. | ||
Vonnie (vonnie) 3-Pundit Username: vonnie Post Number: 32 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 205.188.116.138 |
Bring back Christopher Cross.NOT | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 5-Doyen Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 253 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
Oh Vonnie, now I'm Saaaaaaaaailing! And no, my name's not Arthur or Dudley Moore! Juice | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 5-Doyen Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 254 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
Submitted for your approval. A man in anguish, full of wanton expectation. Will she.....won't she.............. The effects on a busload of people hangs in the balance. I give you...........Tie A Yellow Ribbon by Tony Orlando & Dawn. To this day, this hokey singalong makes me seek the peace that only a head resting inside a gas stove can bring. That damn banjo strumming endlessly & why the hell didn't those people on the bus mind their business? Who cares, nobody cares! | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 5-Doyen Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 255 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
How about Abba with Fernando & Dancing Queen. | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 5-Doyen Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 256 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
Then there was Band Aid & Do They Know It's Christmas. Do they know...well, err....gee fellas, I really don't think that they did. | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 5-Doyen Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 257 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
Can anyone tell me what was so good about You Light Up My Life?? What a boring monotonous song. It just drones on & on, until the chorus, then drones on some more. This song sold on the strength & not much else. A overblown, melodramatic piece of flotsam this one is. But, what could be expected from the seed of that old soulful Rock & Roller, who never saw a R&B song that he couldn't hop on & make completely boring??? | ||
Sue (sue) 2-Debutant Username: sue Post Number: 24 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 64.12.116.138 |
"Sailing" -- exactly. It sold millions. Surely someone on this board enjoyed it, or even bought it. Why, is my question? What is there in that song, is it a crack thing, something addictive that the naked ear can't hear? A flailing, limpid melody, a voice that sounded like the guy was asleep, and it's not as if he was some handsome guy. Not at all ... I wanted to point out a disturbing scientific trend I spotted. I haven't seen "Idol" lately but on the Jimmy Kimmel show he played a clip of Red singing "Mandy" ...somehow, a horrific song made even worse. Is there some law of physics that governs this, a bad song sung by a bad writer becomes even worse when re-interpreted by a younger generation's bad singer?? Some compounding effect of awfulness? | ||
Vonnie (vonnie) 3-Pundit Username: vonnie Post Number: 33 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 205.188.116.138 |
Sue, You took the words right out of my mouth. I wrote on the American Idol post, what song Red would sing before it was announced. Given his crooning lounge style of singing, Mandy fit the bill. I was so correct and he still sounded awful(imho), even though it was in his range. Glad you got a chance to listen to that gem(lmao). You would have really freaked if you heard how he butchered "My Girl", it was excruciating. | ||
SteveS (steves) 2-Debutant Username: steves Post Number: 28 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.41.250.190 |
Ahh yes, the strange case of Christopher Cross. My recollection is that he came out of nowhere with his first hit, "Break Like the Wind", which I think featured the some of the Doobie Bros backing him up. Given that this was during the period when the Doobies were cranking out hits like crazy, that record had a lot of their trademarked hooks, and consequently, CC sounded like maybe he had something happening. However, he quickly disabused the listening public of any such notion with his follow-up (Doobie-free) effort, "Sailing", and demonstrated that the music world wasn't quite ready for another Meat Loaf (given that we were still enduring lingering indigestion from the original). | ||
Moe (moe) 3-Pundit Username: moe Post Number: 43 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 66.219.162.219 |
More dreckage of the magnitudinous kind!!! | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 5-Doyen Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 269 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
I nominate Mr William Hung's version of I Believe I Can Fly for the worst recording of the last two millenniums. If you haven't heard this song, you must hear it just for historical purposes. There's got to be a moral somewhere regarding this, damned if I know what it is! If they played this in Iraq, the war would be over due to the rebels immediate surrender!!! | ||
Lady Mystique (ladymystique) 5-Doyen Username: ladymystique Post Number: 226 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 66.33.227.122 |
Juice...I don't want to hear ANYTHING by William Hung...DANG! I hope I don't offend Michael Bolton fans out there, but he has to go too! | ||
Vonnie (vonnie) 3-Pundit Username: vonnie Post Number: 35 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 152.163.252.166 |
Juice, I had the unpleasant "eargasm" of hearing William Hung sing "I Believe I Can Fly", and while he was singing it, I kept thinking "I Believe You Should Die". (LMAO) | ||
Sue (sue) 2-Debutant Username: sue Post Number: 25 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 64.12.116.138 |
Very funny, Vonnie! Oh Steve, you would bring up that Doobies-Cross connection. If you must remind us all, it was my beloved (sob) Michael McDonald who sang backup on some Christopher Cross tunes ... McDonald's intensive moonlighting during that period, singing backup for Cross and everybody else, was lampooned by Rick Moranis in a skit on SCTV one time. I can't wait until the SCTV DVDs are out this summer ... | ||
SteveS (steves) 2-Debutant Username: steves Post Number: 29 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.41.250.190 |
Lady Mystique - I wouldn't worry. I don't think it's possible to offend a Michael Bolton fan. They've been subjected to intense aromatherapy that paralyzes their critical judgement gland (for those of you unfamiliar with recent discoveries in the field of human anatomy, the critical judgement gland is located right next to the Cough Control Center). | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 5-Doyen Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 276 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
Vonnie, as it is Sunday, I don't want to go that far. However I rewote the chorus, like to hear it? Here it goes: I believe I will cry. Slit my wrists, sit & wait to die. Made my decision only yesterday. Seems like there's no other way. William's version's a bore Don't wanna hear that shit no moooore If I do I will cry. If I do I will cry. If I do I will cry-yi-yiiiiiiiiiii! Lyrics by Juice | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 5-Doyen Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 281 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
LadyM, I will mail you a copy, this belongs next to your vintage copies of Yoko Ono's Walking On Thin Ice & Ethel Merman goes Disco. Stop fronting, you know you want it Juice (Message edited by Juicefree20 on April 25, 2004) | ||
john dixon (john_dixon) 3-Pundit Username: john_dixon Post Number: 31 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 152.163.252.166 |
I finally thought of one we haven't mentioned, ever, and that wasn't easy, but I heard it today at the Tasty Wok Resturant. I was scarfing down some very colorful but unidentifiable sushi rolls when I heard a sub-Mantovani glopfest of a string arrangement and this lugubrious baritone, "My cup runneth over with....llloooooooooove." Ed Ames, formerly one of the Ames Brothers but at the time(1967), better known as Mingo on the Daniel Boone tv show (sing along everybody--"Daniel Boone was a man. Yes, a Biiiig man"). "My Cup Runneth Over" by Ed Ames made it to #8 in February, 1967. With psychedelia literally months away, this record sounded like someone had flattened a mothball and cut grooves in it. Welcome to errghh, Ed. They can hide but eventually they'll all be brought to task. | ||
ralph (ralph) Moderator Username: ralph Post Number: 92 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 209.240.205.61 |
Extremely ERRGGH worthy John. Thanks for bringing this piece of Dreck to the forefront. SteveS is right. You really ARE a genius! | ||
SteveS (steves) 3-Pundit Username: steves Post Number: 31 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.41.250.190 |
Great John, now you've opened the floodgates and I'm awash in a sea of swirling dreck. Please tell me I'm hallucifyin' and that Mike Douglas really didn't have a hit tune called "The Men in My Little Girl's Life". | ||
Rodmann (rodmann) 4-Laureate Username: rodmann Post Number: 88 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 12.221.46.129 |
I don't really get the dislike for Merrilee Rush's 'Angel Of The Morning'. It's not the best recording in the world but I can think of thousands that are a lot more offensive and harder to sit through ('In The Year 2525', 'House Of The Rising Sun', 'A Lover's Concerto', etc). I have to admit that this is coming from a young guy who wasn't alive when the song was first released so I didn't have to suffer through it a million times when it was new. LOL. Sue, are you familiar with P.P. Arnold's original recording of 'Angel Of The Morning'? Merrilee recorded 'Angel' as a Pop-Folk ballad but P.P's original is a Soul-Rocker with loud drums and sassy background singers. P.P. really belts it out. Things really start cookin' towards the end of the song when everyone cuts loose! Drives me crazy every time I hear it. Nothing depressing about Miss Arnold's version! No sir! | ||
Sue (sue) 2-Debutant Username: sue Post Number: 26 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 64.12.116.138 |
Was it mass hysteria that caused the whole Mike Douglas phenomenon? Remember when he had John and Yoko on? Yipes it was right in the middle of their "Free John Now" period I believe. Ten for two! | ||
Sue (sue) 2-Debutant Username: sue Post Number: 27 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 64.12.116.138 |
That's good Rodmann, but the lyrics would be the same ... Overwrought masochism ..."just call me angel of the morning ... then slowly (sob) turn away..." | ||
Sue (sue) 2-Debutant Username: sue Post Number: 28 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 64.12.116.138 |
The lyrics don't ring right I think because they're so clearly written by a man, to be sung by a woman. I don't think a woman would have written such a thing. Maybe she would, and have the man crying (laugh). I'd like to hear that other version ...maybe it's like Aretha with "Chain of Fools." Despite the lyrics, she's not a victim in that song ... | ||
Rodmann (rodmann) 4-Laureate Username: rodmann Post Number: 91 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 12.221.46.129 |
I didn't think about it that way Sue. That's a good point about the lyrics and I can see why they would annoy some women. The lyrics are the same on P.P.'s version but the vocals and arrangement are aggressive enough that Miss Arnold can make clear that she's nobody's victim! She turns an anti-woman song into a tune about women's liberation! LOL. If you want to hear it just give me your email address. I'll think of something. | ||
Rodmann (rodmann) 4-Laureate Username: rodmann Post Number: 98 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 12.221.46.129 |
I add my two cents about P.P. Arnold and Merrilee Rush's 'Angel Of The Morning' and then this topic goes to hell! LOL. Sue didn't even want a copy of P.P.'s original recording that I offered to her after she said she was interested in hearing it. Go figure! | ||
Sue (sue) 3-Pundit Username: sue Post Number: 39 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 12.34.51.20 |
Oh Rodmann it was a great offer ...I may yet take you up on it. I've been swamped and also have been trying to keep those lyrics out of my head. Aretha could sing them and I'd probably scream ... Also trying to forget the sound of Red singing "Mandy." Also trying to forget Barry in curlers...I have a lot on my plate here ..! | ||
Rodmann (rodmann) 4-Laureate Username: rodmann Post Number: 100 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 12.221.46.129 |
LMAO! Fair enough Sue. That pic of Barry in curlers with the cigarette holder was pretty traumatic for me so I know it must have brought back some scary and bitter memories for you since you saw the whole thing in person! Please forgive insensitivity! LOL. | ||
Lady Mystique (ladymystique) 5-Doyen Username: ladymystique Post Number: 247 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 216.222.243.111 |
Steve...you buggin! Juice...PUH-LEEEZE! | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 5-Doyen Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 347 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.161.22.94 |
"And then I go & spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love yooooooou. I love yoooooooou. I love yooooou." Here Ye, Here Ye!!! (Trumpet Blasts) I hereby nominate the following songs as dreck that not even a mother could love. How these two song managed not to destroy stereo systems everywhere is nothing short of miraculous. These records should've been quarantined, so as not to infect other records that were in the immediate vicinity, or within a ten mile radius. These two pieces of dreck are..(drumroll puleeze) WALKING ON THIN ICE & BEAUTIFUL BOY by Yoko Ono. She helped to break up The Beatles in order to record this shit????? That's downright un-American, treason of the highest order. These two songs almost caused me to throw myself on a stack of Gilette Razor Blades. I thought it would be far less painful & a quicker death than listening to these two songs: You're such a buetifoool buoooooye.....with all your buetifoool toiiiieys. Then there's Walking On Thin Ice. A song that contains howling that would make the Wolfman jealous & screeching that would nauseate any self respecting coyote: Walking on theen ice, we payeede dee priyccce. For tossing dee diiiieece. Eeen dee air. UGGH to the 10th power!!!! WORD TO THE WISE: If you've never heard these two songs........DON'T, REPEAT....DON'T!!!! This swinging chick, this groovy, really gone gal, makes William Hung sound like Sinatra! Any Dj that played these songs should have had a immediate citizens arrest performed on them. COME OUT OF YOUR BOOTH WITH THOSE RECORDS IN THE AIR! KEEP THOSE RECORDS WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM!!! NOW, DROP YOUR YOKO!!!! DO IT NOW MISTER, DO IT NOW!!! Upon which SWAT would rush in & commence beating him about his forehead. Hard......really, really hard. Sheeeet, there's not enough payola in the world to make me play those songs. The sad thing is that Beautiful Boy is on the same LP as Starting Over & Woman, which is only one of my favorite John Lennon songs. I no longer play Woman, as I'm convinced that the grooves have been infected from 24 years of being on the same LP. I don't want to pass on the disease to my other vinyl. People, what should I do to prevent an outbreak???? HELP!!! PLEASE!!! (Message edited by Juicefree20 on April 29, 2004) | ||
Ritchie (ritchie) 4-Laureate Username: ritchie Post Number: 99 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 62.254.0.32 |
JF - don't mean to start a transatlantic argument but: "Yoko Ono.... helped to break up The Beatles... That's downright un-American.." How did you reach the conclusion that a weirdo Japanese artist who was a catalyst in the break-up of an English group is "un-American?" I must be missing something here! ;o) | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 5-Doyen Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 349 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
The Beatles gained mass acceptance here in America. Though popular in the UK, it would be safe to say that they truly exploded here in the US. At that point, they became a phenomenom. Their chart domination in the U.S. was such that it would be safe that here in America, they were accepted as family. The Beatles transcended damn near everything & I think that it's pretty safe to say the the Pop populace here in the USA adopted them. To this day, there are legions of Beatles fans who are still angry with Yoko Ono. To them, The Beatles will always be theirs, regardless of their natural homeland. As you well know, they were like Gods to their US fans. All that you have to do is read any book, go to any website & see how these gentlemen were loved here. They were a large part of 60s US culture. What do you think of my assessment? (Message edited by Juicefree20 on April 29, 2004) | ||
Ritchie (ritchie) 4-Laureate Username: ritchie Post Number: 101 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 62.254.0.32 |
Hey, JF - if you want the honest truth, I think you took my comment a little too seriously! (Hence the winking smiley) | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 5-Doyen Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 350 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
Hey Ritchie! Where do you get all of those wonderful toys???? See, I never knew that one could make winkies. I just haven't learned how to do these things. I just caught on to the winking thing. Ritchie, there's special classes for guys like me & it usually starts thusly: "Hello, my name is Juice & I'm emoticonally challenged" Although I do give good smiley face, I don't know much else about the wonderful world of emoticons. Due to my lack of knowledge of such things, I will now do penance thusly: I will suffer the unprecedent punishment of listening to the smashing combination of Sir Barry of Manilow, followed with copious amounts of Michael Boltons Greatest Hits, chased with a liberal amount of Feelings by Morris Albert! That seems to be a fitting punishment for not knowing my emoticons. Yeah, that will learn me!! Ritchie, do ya think that I'm being a little too hard on myself here??? ;o) HEY MA!! HEY MA!!! I'M WINKING, LOOK, I"M WINKING!!!! YEAA!!! | ||
ralph (ralph) Moderator Username: ralph Post Number: 110 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 209.240.205.61 |
Juice, To help smooth things out for you, in the next couple of days watch your mail-box. | ||
Sudi Kamau (sudi_kamau) 2-Debutant Username: sudi_kamau Post Number: 14 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 66.117.198.35 |
The eighties should have never happened. | ||
Sue (sue) 3-Pundit Username: sue Post Number: 41 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 12.34.51.20 |
Dan Hill - "Sometimes When We Touch" ...the honesty's too much ...(sob) ... As opposed to those times they touched when they were bluffing ... | ||
SteveS (steves) 3-Pundit Username: steves Post Number: 32 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 209.219.207.3 |
I just spent the last couple of days trapped in a rental car that clearly was designed as an instrument of torture, confirming my suspicion that the universe is nothing more than a cruel joke, of which I am the butt. The radio was only capable of tuning one radio station, which I believe was WERG. The volume and bass were both permanently set to 11, which caused the car (and particularly my seat) to rumble and shake violently every time a bass-heavy 60's tune was played. This led to the coining of a new descriptive term that I believe may be useful for future errggh discussions - after hearing "I Think We're Alone Now" for the 3rd time, I concluded that Tommy James is "sphincteriffic". I was also able to study several examples of the bizzare 60's trend that had groups going into double time during the rideout, a practice that, much like Birkenstocks or sandals with black socks, NEVER works. Several otherwise decent tunes are badly compromised by the silly ending sections ("Time Won't Let Me" - really good tune, and "Kicks" spring to mind but there are many others). That whole trend belongs in the "what were they thinking" file. One of the other things discovered on this trip was just how truly atrocious Babs Streisand got as she kept trying to re-capture the excitement she generated earlier in her career. I mean there's no denying that she raised the bar as a singer of show tunes, and probably launched ten thousand careers of young girls who were inspired by her early stuff. But "My Heart Goes On"??? I heard it twice and it was as though I was paralyzed by the badditude of the song and couldn't turn the dial (which wouldn't turn anyhow). | ||
SteveS (steves) 3-Pundit Username: steves Post Number: 33 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 209.219.207.3 |
To be somewhat serious for a moment, one thing that the prolonged listening experience made really clear to me: How incredibly lame 60's rhythm sections were, and how profoundly, undeniably, unbelievably brilliant the Funk Brothers were. In 60's pop you hear nothing but drummers banging out overambitious fills and bass players playing with a numbing lack of imagination. And I'm sorry, but this includes the much heralded Wrecking Crew. Yeah, they played on everything, but to my ears, there's no detectable groove to be found in anything I can identify by them. Bombast, yeah. Groove, no. Anyhow, after several hours of this, on comes "My Guy". OMIGOD, I never heard the Funks in this context before, against the backdrop of 60's pop. It was like strange aliens, who could actually play, landed on Earth and found themselves on the pop charts. There was nothing even remotely like Jamerson or Benny anywhere on the horizon. And the 2 guitars are playing the hippest little licks back there - it was so far away from and ahead of the pack it's hard to believe it ever happened. Sorry folks, I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but sometimes props are in order. | ||
Ritchie (ritchie) 4-Laureate Username: ritchie Post Number: 102 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 62.254.0.32 |
I think it's a scandal that sixties drummers were not taken to court and fined large sums when caught over-using the ride cymbal.... Hey, YOU can stop smirking, Mr Starkey! | ||
douglasm (douglasm) 3-Pundit Username: douglasm Post Number: 50 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.113.12.67 |
SteveS.... ...methinks (me? thinks?) that you may have heard "Somewhere" once to often on a grocery store music system. The "doubletiming" end is an interesting notion, not disimilar to the previously discussed habit of trying to revitalize a song by going up a half note in key just before singing the last verse. Honorable Mention on the timing goes to the Boyce and Heart composed Monkees (and Paul Revere and the Raiders and Jimi Hendrix?!) performed "Stepping Stone", which doubletimes in the middle--twice. | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 5-Doyen Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 351 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
Ralph, thanks a lot. I'll keep my eyes open. Thanks! Juice | ||
Sudi Kamau (sudi_kamau) 2-Debutant Username: sudi_kamau Post Number: 15 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 66.117.198.35 |
What the Funk Brothers did was breath life into a lame gig. The other people just played the lame gig with lame energy. Does a keyboard player really want to pound out triads in root position? Does a good drummer really want to bang out quarter notes on the snare so even the squarest guy on the dance floor can find the beat? Motown and most other pop stuff of the era isn't that intrinsically interesting to play. The genius of the Funk Brothers was in finding ways to not make it sound that way. To me, the real key here was Jamerson. Playing over those lines would make the Chicken Dance song swing. | ||
SteveS (steves) 3-Pundit Username: steves Post Number: 34 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 209.219.207.3 |
Ritchie - Excessive use of the ride cymbal is probably one of the most persuasive arguments I can think of for maintaining the death penalty. And it's also worth mentioning that the prototype 60's bass player in a rock band was the guitar player who drew the short straw. Gee, you couldn't tell by listening. Douglas - You've done a great public service by pointing out that the combination of double-time and modulation therapy is potentially fatal. There's nothing worse than a double-timing-key-changer! Speaking of Boyce and Hart, they also showed up during my WERG road trip to Drecksville. The tune was a totally innocuous piece of bubble gum pap (not bad enough for errggh and not good enough to remember) called "I Wonder What She's Doing Tonight" that featured the-guy-not-named-Bobby attempting a "soulful outburst" comprising "c'mon Bobby" spoken listlessly before the chorus. This could have been overlooked if not-Bobby hadn't decided to repeat the outburst about 30 times during the course of a 3 minute tune. The net effect is probably not what Bobby and Not-Bobby had in mind. Instead of conveying the intensity of a James Brown "Good God!" or a Wilson Pickett "Have Mercy!", Not-Bobby sounds like Spanky yelling back to Alfalfa to drag the lemonade wagon faster. | ||
Larry (larry) 2-Debutant Username: larry Post Number: 25 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 216.23.183.2 |
SteveS, you had to go and rag on my sacred sugar-pathetico 60's muse. You masher! The writer of this article should be invited into the pack of wolves (check) Errgghists: The worst songs of all time from Texas http://houstonpress.com/issues /2004-04-29/racket.html/1/inde x.html | ||
SteveS (steves) 3-Pundit Username: steves Post Number: 35 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.41.250.190 |
Larry, Thanks. The world needs more lists, fer sure. But I had to take issue with the writer including "Deep In the Heart of Texas" in his compendium. Although his criticisms were most certainly valid, I feel that the tune was totally redeemed by the late Allan Sherman, in his composition "Melvin Rose of Texas": "I'm Melvin Rose of Texas My friends they call me Tex When I lived in old New Mexico They called me old New Mex When I lived in old Kentucky They called me old Kentuck But when I lived on Melrose Avenue They called me Melvin Rose" | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 5-Doyen Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 381 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
I've got an additional song to add that drove Women's Rights activists absolutely crazy. Just repeating these three words could get you some very nasty looks. The three words are: HAVIN' MY BABY.....DUCK!!!!!!!! Lord, how they hated this song & I don't believe the ladies much appreciated Ms Coates singing along with this one so willingly. Paul Anka...Macho Man! Paulie sure knew how to woo the ladies, didn't he???? | ||
Ritchie (ritchie) 4-Laureate Username: ritchie Post Number: 103 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 62.254.0.32 |
Was that the special version he recorded for Disney - YOU'RE HAVIN' MY BABY DUCK (?) | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 5-Doyen Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 386 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
When I think of all of the women who wanted to sink his Bismark, it might as well have been. It was almost: "The End Of His Life" | ||
Ritchie (ritchie) 4-Laureate Username: ritchie Post Number: 104 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 62.254.0.32 |
And you thought I was joking - here's the proof. His offspring was called Kalle, and I guess she's the one next to Donald.... | ||
SteveS (steves) 3-Pundit Username: steves Post Number: 36 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.41.250.190 |
Juice, Again, history rears it's boring head. The undre' of Mr. Anka was discussed extensively in the original errggh threads. There are many, many examples, but I'll spare you the search and paste this post (from http://soulfuldetroit.com/foru m/messages/3838/2990.html?) in which the name Anka comes up a few times. Tuesday, April 08, 2003 - 05:51 pm: Fellow errrgonauts, If we are going to continue this scholarly journey through the depths of pop music, I would like to suggest that we define some language that is specifically designed to allow us to communicate complex ERRGGH concepts more succinctly, and in a manner that takes full advantage of electronic communication possibilities on the web. As a start, perhaps the use of acronyms might help us save time that would be better spent on research. Here are a few that might come in handy: ALINC - At least it's not Cher. HCIC - Holy crap, it's Cher. CFP - Courtesy flush, please! TNWSTTP - The notes wouldn't stick to the tape. HMB - Havin My Baby SOBB - Standing Over the Bowl Barfing SPON - Stinking Pile o'Notes PANDHC - Paul Anka, Neil Diamond, Harry Chapin OTDS - Off the dreckometer scale (see previous entry) KMNP - Kill Me Now, Please TRWBUS - The radio waves broke under the strain PTMIHT - Please Tell Me I Hallucinated That IKBILI - I know, but I like it! JHIMMS - Just hearing it made me stupider Thus, a typical exchange might go like this: ERRGG1: I just flipped to a radio station that played PANDHC back to back. I think TRWBUS. JHIMMS. ERRGG2: Oh, that's terrible. Did they even play that SPON HMB? ERRGG1: Yes. I called the request line and asked for a CFP. They wouldn't, so now I'm SOBB. ERRGG2: That's a lot to handle - really OTDS. ERRGG1: The only saving grace is ALINC. ERRGG2: Uh, listen, whatever you do, don't turn on the TV. ERRGG1: HCIC!!! KMNP. | ||
Ritchie (ritchie) 4-Laureate Username: ritchie Post Number: 105 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 62.254.0.32 |
Hmmmm - try again...  | ||
Larry (larry) 2-Debutant Username: larry Post Number: 30 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 216.23.183.2 |
ErrggSpeak alphabetized for easier extrapolation: ALINC - At least it's not Cher. CFP - Courtesy flush, please! HCIC - Holy crap, it's Cher. HMB - Havin My Baby IKBILI - I know, but I like it! JHIMMS - Just hearing it made me stupider KMNP - Kill Me Now, Please OTDS - Off the dreckometer scale (see previous entry) PANDHC - Paul Anka, Neil Diamond, Harry Chapin PTMIHT - Please Tell Me I Hallucinated That SOBB - Standing Over the Bowl Barfing SPON - Stinking Pile o'Notes TNWSTTP - The notes wouldn't stick to the tape. TRWBUS - The radio waves broke under the strain | ||
SteveS (steves) 3-Pundit Username: steves Post Number: 37 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.41.250.190 |
...and this: Wednesday, April 09, 2003 - 05:33 pm: Sue, I'm having some difficulty processing the concept of "the dumbest line in HMB". Regardless of the degree to which I subdivide the tune, each individual sub-unit is equally stupid. This scale-invariant lameness raises the possibility of a heretofore unreported mathematical phenomenon, "fractal stupidity". I will investigate further and report any progress to the forum. KMNP*. *official errggh acronym | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 5-Doyen Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 390 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
Steve, that sounds fair to me. I too am plumbing the depths of the nether regions, searching for dreck. We must....warn....people....must .....save.....humanity!!! Hey Ritchie, where'd you get that portrait? I thought that was verbotten!!! | ||
Ritchie (ritchie) 4-Laureate Username: ritchie Post Number: 106 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 62.254.0.32 |
It was published in The National Enquacker.... | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 5-Doyen Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 392 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
Aah so, most appropriate place for dreck! | ||
Larry (larry) 3-Pundit Username: larry Post Number: 32 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 216.23.183.2 |
What sickens me is a family friend managed Paul Anka for gobs of years. When I pop in town (to Detroit) I have to sit thru the stories told with blissful resplendency. Then I excuse myself to the louvre gripping the porcelain G-d I call........ Errggh. | ||
Larry (larry) 3-Pundit Username: larry Post Number: 33 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 216.23.183.2 |
Consider my last entry a Sympathy Post. | ||
Soulaholic (soulaholic) 4-Laureate Username: soulaholic Post Number: 85 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.41.40.105 |
 Girl: Elvis that feels good. Elvis: Hey Anka move your hand, I don't play that. Paul: Elvis, you be the King & I'll be the Queen of Rock & Roll little did they know what the future held for them in the Erragh dimension | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 6-Zenith Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 435 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
Ladies & Gentlemen. We must curb our baser feelings. In this politically correct society of today, we must learn to be kinder....gentler & more tolerant souls. With that in mind, I suggest that we all join together. Yes, we must come together in solidarity in effort to understand the dreckers. In the interest of love, peace & understanding, I suggest that we all join together and........................... .............................. ......DO THE FREDDIE!!!! | ||
douglasm (douglasm) 3-Pundit Username: douglasm Post Number: 64 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.113.12.67 |
I'm telling you now I'm telling you right away I'll be with you for many a day I'm in love with you now..... SteveS.... ....how many times does that song change key? Twice? With a slow down at the end. Heaven help us, was that the worst thing Tower Records could do to us? Gentlemen at Tower, how could you do what you do to me? | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 6-Zenith Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 439 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
Ok, I have to admit this: I liked Uncle Albert!! THERE! I SAID IT!!! I was about 11 when it came out & there was something about the Pauls' lilting vocal & the chords of the song. Kind of melancholy, but I liked it... A LOT! However, I hated the Admiral Halsey part! To me, it was just plain dopey! | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 6-Zenith Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 440 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
At the risk of alienating the ladies, I nominate Helen Reddys I Am Woman. I thought it a bit ironic that a woman with a Scotty (of the Little Rascals) haircut sang a song with such a title. Yaers later, with the introduction of Rosie O'Donnell & Ellen DeGeneris, I finally got understood. Anyway, this piece of flotsam gave women everywhere big time attitudes. Where a man used to be able to come home to a hot meal, he came home to a Reddyite...with an attitude. Suddenly, he started hearing things such as: "What do you think, I do nothing all day?" Or: "You're not the only one who works. I've been working here all day, housework is not easy". OR: "It should be shared equally, 50/50." Or: "I'm not your maid! GET IT YOURSELF." And, finally, the all-time classic hit: "YOU DON'T APPRECIATE ME!!!" You see, they were women & roar they did. What is it about songs like this that make people lose their minds??? I mean they're cool before hearing this crap. Suddenly, after hearing these types of songs, a cape pops out of their asses. Suddenly, they're superheroes. What is up with that. Fellas, I'm telling you, if you get home & your partner's playing I Am Woman, or even worse, I Will Survive, count on some very long & deep conversations. Trust me, it's not gonna be an Aviance night. | ||
Sue (sue) 3-Pundit Username: sue Post Number: 52 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 64.12.116.138 |
Juice, I'm so glad you said that ...I share your fondness for "Uncle Albert" and I'm not too cool to say so ... | ||
ralph (ralph) Moderator Username: ralph Post Number: 125 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 209.240.205.61 |
Juice, Your reference to the Freddy gives evidence to the fact that certain music wasn't the only thing that held a corner on dreck. | ||
Vonnie (vonnie) 3-Pundit Username: vonnie Post Number: 54 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 205.188.116.138 |
Juice, Now you know I love ya! But let me say this "my mom never heard a Helen Reddy song, but she sure knew how to say "get it yourself and I'm not your maid", long before Helen sang the song. She also wore a cape around her shoulders (not out of her a**), and a tiara on her head. She was a bad mama jamma! | ||
Moe (moe) 3-Pundit Username: moe Post Number: 53 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 66.219.162.219 |
May I offer a piece of dreckage for this Sunday morning? Muskrat Love by Captain & Tenille or take your pick with anything by Captain & Tenille | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 6-Zenith Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 446 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
Ralph: I hear you on that, is guess that dreck is a all-inclusive kind of thing, it seems to know no boundaries! Vonnie: My mom as well, she's still a super woman if ever I knew one. She didn't need a damn corny theme song either. She just did what women & mothers have done for generations....HANDLED THEIR BUSINESS!!!! The deserved a much better theme song than that piece of crap, believe me. To me is was so trite & trivialized the efforts of many great women. They should've done better! Moe: Remember one truism! Love Will keep Us all Together during those Lonely Nights! This is true for Muskrats in Love as well | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 6-Zenith Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 447 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
COMING LATER!!! HEAR JUICE RUMINATE, ARTICULATE, CASTIGATE & EXPECTORATE ON THE POMPATUS OF MS HELEN REDDY! | ||
Moe (moe) 3-Pundit Username: moe Post Number: 55 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 66.219.162.219 |
Juice, I am holding my breath in anticipation! | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 6-Zenith Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 456 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
Hi Moe! I must warn you it's extensive. Dreck is sometimes difficult to explain in a sentence. Sometimes you've gotta DIIIIIIIG DEEEEEEEEP!! I had it last night, but, my battery died, thereby divesting me of my, please pardon the pun, "Reddy" notes. In revenge to Ms Reddy, whose energy surely was to blame, I have three more posts that will examine her songs! HA!!! (Message edited by Juicefree20 on May 02, 2004) | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 6-Zenith Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 463 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
SUBMITTED FOR YOUR APPROVAL!!! THE POMPATUS OF HELEN REDDY...A LOVE STORY BY JUICE PT 2 in a series of 4 (5/2/2004) Copyright Juice! While discussing I Am Woman, a few thoughts occurred to me. Just when I thought it could get no worse, I thought of a few of her other "gems". Suddenly, the realization set in that this woman has been responsible for more than a few of the "dreckiest" hits of the 70s. For she gave us such dreck as: I Don't Know How To Love Him(1971): A woman with self-admitted loose morals, finds herself in the midst of a dilemna. As she has commitment issues, she doesn't know how to handle her feelings for her latest paramour. Helen, sweetie, listen to me, if you don't know how to love him, I don't know what to tell you. However, you might just want to tighten up the old morals there. This melodramatic piece of dreck (Apologies to Jesus Christ Superstar), clearly illustrates the devestating effect of indecision on one's consciousness & sanity. Then there's..... FANFARE Leave Me Alone aka Ruby Red Dress(1973): A song about a girl who's been loved, been left, then loses her mind. She ends up spending her days wandering through town & running away from towns people who are so cruel that they laugh at her, because she talks to herself. Nice town, don'tcha think??? FANFARE Delta Dawn(1973): Another song of an unbalanced woman. Seems that town folk think she's crazy, because she walks through town carrying a suitcase, wearing a dead flower in her lapel, while waiting for a lying no-goodnick to take her to his mansion in the sky. FANFARE Ain't No Way To Treat A Lady(1975) Another somebody done me wrong song. Once again, poor put upon Helen, demonstrates her obvious poor judgement in man selection. Courtesy of one Harriet Schock (Err, Harriet, there's an "L" missing from your last name, dearie), this one has lyrical "gems" like these: "I was only bein' a picture with all the color I know While you were busy lookin' into wide blue mirrors & lovin' the show." "There's a funny kind of consolation Keepin' me sane And I'd really like to share it Crawl on deep into my brain". Or, how about this Shakesperian line: "I was lookin' out for my happiness While you were lookin' within And before you know, your own reflection always starts to tire you it's happened again". Well, errh, ahh..........OK! Now that's entertainment!!!! This has got to be the worst $3.95 invested, on a "You Too Can Write Songs" paperback! Talk about murdering metaphors!! I guess that this is what passed for deep, meaningful introspection for some of those '70s folk. Personally, the only people that I knew that spoke like this, usually had a deep meaningful relationship with a glass pipe & copious amounts of little green plants that they grew in their living rooms! But, Helen's not quite done yet! She also gave us the great song......... FANFARE KEEP ON SINGING Which will be examined in our next episode of THE POMPATUS OF HELEN REDDY....A LOVE STORY By JUICE (Pt 3 of 4) (Message edited by Juicefree20 on May 02, 2004) (Message edited by Juicefree20 on May 02, 2004) | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 6-Zenith Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 465 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
THE POMPATUS OF HELEN REDDY....A LOVE STORY By JUICE (PT 3 of 4) In my last discussion, I covered most of her hits. This this, I'll further expose the ridiculousness of her lyrical content. Let's get started with.... KEEP ON SINGING (TA-DAAAA!!!): This horribly hokey piece of dreck from 1974 tried a little too hard to be sentimental. This attempt to draw us into to this convoluted mess of a song, bordered on criminal. This "tear-jerker" plagarized every '70s Movie Of The Week plot & we were none the better for it. The song starts with the chorus & at first, you think you're gonna get a nice toe-tapping ditty....so you think. Immediately following the chorus, we meet the first plot device & it's name is TRAGEDY. Our heroine never knew her mom, as mom died in childbirth. Already, I'm reaching for the barf bag, as this plot is so obvious that it's sickening. However, as the song is 3 minutes long, I figured that I might as well get good & sick....so I continued listening.... Her & her daddy lived in a 1 room shack, no other children beside her (sounds like Cloud Nine there, doesn't it??). This piece of crap daddy made her sing in the streets at the age of 6, in order to make ends meet. Already, we can see that daddy is a real responsible sort of chap. His 6 year-old is the money maker, the breadwinner of the family. Way to teach your daughter about supporting co-dependent men pops! Where the hell was BCW??? Why wasn't she in school??? I digress...excuse me. Her daddy also was the ultimate stage daddy & obviously had visions of spending her money. Why do I say that?? Well, let's see...did dear old daddy tell her to go to school (after all, she was woman, right???)...NOOOO! Did daddy try to get her a better environment to live in? Once again...NOOOO! What the hell did daddy dearest say to her, what pearl of wisdom did he have for his 6 year-old baby girl.....HUH.......... "KEEP ON SINGING, You're gonna be a star someday". That's what this moron told his 6 year-old. Instead of preparing her for real-life, for a real job, he's filling her head up with that crap. Ok, there's nothing wrong with dreaming. However, did he tell her to sing for DA DOUGH??? Once again, the answer is NO!! So, how did this moron explain to his kid the reason for not getting an education, while she's singing in the streets? Did he tell her that she could possibly get a huge recording contract....NO!! This idiot's explanation was, and, Iquote: "You're gonna make a lot of people happy when they come to hear you play". It's not enough that this poor excuse of a dad A) Had her singing in the streets at the age of 6. B) Slept in the same room with her. C) Did not see to it that his daughter received any semblance of an education, but potentially filled her pretty little head with false hope. I mean, what if a lot of people WEREN'T happy when they heard her play?? Huh?? What then daddy??? He didn't consider the emotional damage that would occur if people weren't too happy with her. I mean, look at the American Idol auditions. There are thousands of daddies & mommies who are absolutely convinced that little Fifi, or, Waldo has got the goods to be a star. Word to Pa Pa- you're a jerk!! Get the kid an edumocation (see daddy can't even spell, now we know why Johnny can't read either). At this point, her greatest vocal performance could be starring at the Golden Arch saying: "Would you like fries with that, maam???" DAMN!! Anyway, by the next verse of the chorus, daddy truly becomes delusional. He actually believes that his little Muffin is going to save the world. Check this little treat: Keep on singin'Keep the bells a ringin' (Editors note - "A RINGIN'"????? YUK!!) Spread your music from town to town (HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS NOW.BRING IN ON HOME MUFFY BABY) There's not enough love in this old world So spread your songs around NOW WAIT A MINUTE!!! HOLD ON! Not enough love...spread your songs around???? I mean what, are her songs syphillis, ghonnorhea, herpes simplex # 10?? The world doesn't have enough problems, she's going to SPREAAAAD THEM AROUND???? Now she's a cross between Clara Barton & Michael Jackson......"Heal The Worllllllld & make it a better plaaaaace. But people....it just gets worse from here. When little Muffin was 10, she had a rock & roll band. Tragically (There's that t word again), daddys eyes grew "dim", of course being 10 years of age, she didn't fully understand the situation. When pops heard her singing with the boys, he'd be so proud that he would call her to his side & repeat that stupid freaking chorus Let's skip to the last verse... LAST VERSE!! Here we go! Somebody puleeze get me some freakin' tissue... "We didn't have much money But things didn't seem so bad I felt just like the Queen of the world When I was with my dad (Watch out for tragedy once more folks) Then one rainy April night Daddy called me to his side He held me with his tremblin' hands And just before he died he said......... AWW, JUST SKIP TO THE DAMN CHORUS ALREADY!!! All that I can say is that it wasn't as good to me as it was to Helen, Bobby Jansen, Bobby Hart & about 500, 000 other dreck lovers. I don't know who to be angrier with Helen for singing it, or, the writers for writing it. Aside from being an absolutely lousy story, there's no finality to it. I guess that we are to assume that since we're hearing it on the radio that Muffin made it & that they love her....they reaaaallly love her. Well, guess what, I DON'T! This hummable pile of manure should be exposed for the dreck that it is & it should have been done years ago! In a last ditch effort to lend depth & poignancy to this piece of crap song, they emptied both barrels, rendering me to a state of semi-catatonia. Yes, this song had it all: Life, death, tragedy, hope, laziness, illiteracy, poverty, solicitation & most importantly, lousy lyrics. In short, the makings of a 70s Pop hit. I guess that by the final chorus, we're all supposed to be crying & so full of grief that we'd purchase this record in droves. Unfortunately, that happened to be the case for the million or so people who actually bought this dreckage. Thereby proving once again that A) There truly is no accounting for taste or B) 70s Pop music was really that bad. COMING NEXT!!! The final installation of THE POMPATUS OF HELEN REDDY...A LOVE STORY By JUICE (Pt 4 of 4) Featuring the song with the most ridiculous lyrics this side of Honey & Billy, Don't Be A Hero! | ||
ralph (ralph) Moderator Username: ralph Post Number: 132 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 209.240.205.61 |
Juice, You're priceless! | ||
Moe (moe) 3-Pundit Username: moe Post Number: 60 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.140.73.33 |
Juice, Do you really want me to fall off my chair in tears? You're doing a GREAT JOB!!!!!!! Don't you agree Ralph? | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 6-Zenith Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 488 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
Good afternoon! Thank you Ralph & Moe. This afternoon, I'll be working on the final draft in this saga. Unfortunately, I think that I suffered a Dreck overload & had to rest. However, I'm over it now. I'll post it today! Peace! Juice | ||
Moe (moe) 3-Pundit Username: moe Post Number: 62 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.140.73.33 |
Can't wait, Juice, can't wait!! | ||
ralph (ralph) Moderator Username: ralph Post Number: 133 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 209.240.205.61 |
Moe, I couldn't agree with you more!!! | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 6-Zenith Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 691 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
YOU SAY YOU"RE NOT SATISFIED....YOU SAY YOU WANT MORE????? WELL HERE IT IS!!! This is the last episode of this series, as all Dreck must come to an end. Yes, Ms Reddy has reached her Dreck saturation point. This is the final entry of my four-parter called..... THE POMPATUS OF HELEN REDDY....A LOVE STORY By JUICE (PT 4 of 4) In this final episode, we will examine one of the most ridiculous, inane, dumbfounding lyrics ever written with paper & pen. I defy anyone to decipher this lyric. Go ahead, I dare you, I dare you. This song absolutely spooked me, there was something that was so eerie about this song, that I would get spooked upon hearing it. This addled, confusing piece of Dreck is called (DRUMROLL PULEZZE).....ANGIE BABY. Let's examine this song & discover what in Gods name made this a number one hit in 1974: Verse 1 You live your life in the songs you hear on the rock & roll radio And when a young girl doesn't have any friends that's a really nice place to go Folks hopin' you turned out cool, but they had to take you out of school You're a little touched you know, Angie baby Already, I'm having problems with this song. Now, why did it take these parents so long to realize that poor Angie was a bit different, that she was "touched"??? The poor kid had to wait until she got to school before they realized she had a problem??? I guess this explains why she had no friends & that's sad. Now, there are people who are "mildly" touched or just downright bonkers. I don't know what Angie is, as they didn't bother to explain. I mean, the fact that this poor child probably rammed her head into the walls wasn't enough of a clue? Now, you just don't remove a kid from school because they're "a little touched". If we did that, half of the faculty would have no jobs. Hell, half of my high school teachers were a bit touched. Looks like ole Angie has parents who are either negligent or in denial. That causes me problems.....oh well! on to verse 2 Verse 2 Lovers appear in your room each night, and they whirl you cross the floor But they always seem to fade away, when your daddy taps on your door Angie girl are you alright, tell the radio good night All alone once more, Angie baby Lovers appear in her room at night???? Every night???? Who is she, Heidi Fleiss?? Is this a house of ill repute??? As for daddy knocking on the door, I'm a bit concerned about her lack of parental guidance. How do all of these lovers gain entry to her room, without her parents knowing? Are they mutes who can't hear the sound of scuffing on the floor??? Are they pimping Angie? I need an explanation here. Will I get one??? Probably not. Nevertheless, I'm really concerned now. Oh well....on to the chorus! Chorus Angie Baby, you're a special lady Livin' in a world of make believe.....well maybe WELL MAYBE???? What the hell does that mean?? Either the song is real or it's not. I don't need a song that can't make up it's own mind about itself. What's going on in this song? Honestly, I don't know. Verse 3 Stoppin' at her house is a neighbor boy with evil on his mind Cause he's been peekin' in Angie's room at night through her window blind I see your folks have gone away, would you dance with me today I'll show you how to have a good time Angie baby Again, I have a problem & this verse proves my unfit parent theory. Poor Angie's so "touched" that she was removed from school. YET....her parents have seemingly left her home..............ALONE!!!!! At least MacCauley Kulkin was playing with a full deck. Angie, on the other hand is a little "touched you know". What is wrong with Angies' parents?? Are they setting her up or what??? Looks like this hormonally charged young man's about to sully our poor Angie's virtue. OOPS, too late for that. I forgot about those lovers who always snuck into her room. Either way, it's about to be on, up in there. Verse 4 When he walks in her room he feels confused, like he walked into a play And the music's so loud it spins him around til his soul has lost its way Again, credibility is being stretched to the max here. Angie's stalker, who obviously has become quite familiar with her room, suddenly becomes confused upon entering it???? Even more amazingly, he is spun around so violently, that he actually loses his soul, due to loud music!!! Amazing! If that were the case, the entire Metropolitan area should resemble a scene from The Night Of The Living Dead. Maceo!!! Take me to the bridge & drop me off.... Bridge And as she turns the volume down, he's getting smaller with the sound It seems to pull him off the ground, toward the radio he's bound Never to be found Now, this chick must be related to The Amazing Kreskin, or, at the very least, Houdini. Angie manages to shrink this potential molester by turning down the volume of the radio & through her miraculous powers, confines him inside of her radio. Right then, I realized every kids worst fear....there really were people inside our radios!!! Obviously Angie put them there!! To make matters worse, good old Chester the molester here was never seen again!!! At this point in the song, I used to look at my radio nervously & suspiciously. Right there & then, I would quickly move the radio to another part of the house. Hey, you never know. I mean, look what happened to poor old Chester there! Sometimes, you just can't be too safe. Now even if I wanted to believe this crap, it's just too ludicrous to believe. I mean being shrunk so small that he could fit inside of a radio????? Bullshit!!! At this point, I'm pissed, as this song has evolved into pure stupidity for stupidity's sake! Either that, or someone's smoking some POWERFUL shit!! As this was the 70s, I'm more inclined to believe that acid was involved & I'm not talking about Folic Acid. Oh well, next verse! Verse 5 The headlines read that a boy disappeared, and everyone thinks he died 'Cept a crazy girl with a secret lover who keeps her satisfied It's so nice to be insane, no one asks you to explain Radio by your side, Angie baby Now, we've been talking about a crazy girl with an overactive imagination, or so I thought. Now, we are hit with the following facts: A) This molester boy really existed. B) He really disappeared and C) People believe that he's dead. Everyone except good old Angie, that is. In an obvious reversal of fortunes, Angie has him trapped in her radio, only to use him as her private love slave. It appears that he's doing a pretty good job for 'ol Angie. One question that comes to mind is this: If he satisfies her so, why does she feel compelled to continue keeping him cooped up in that damn radio? As he just wanted to show her a good time from the word go, what's the problem? Seems to be a win/win situation to me. Oh well. Now, the next-to-last line is very insensitive & condesending. Only a moronic, arrogant fool would make such a statement. Perhaps they could make me understand exactly how insanity is a wonderful thing. Somehow, I'm not understanding the many joys of insanity. It's nice to be insane? Ok & why is it so wonderful?? Because no one will ask you about....your RADIO???? Could you imagine the conversation at the old assuylum??: Patient 1 - "Hey, what are you in here for?" Patient 2 - "Aw, I killed my family." Patient 3 - "What are you here for?" Patient 4 - "Oh, I like to start fires." Patient 5 - "Angie, what are you here for?" Angie - "Aw man, I couldn't take the pressure, I just couldn't take it! You don't know what it's like! They kept asking me about my radio, it was always about my radio! That damn radiooooo!! I just couldn't take it anymore." This, my friends is what's known in the trade as BULLSHIT!!! However, just to screw with us one last time, Mr O'Day gets metaphysical one last time, by hittng us with the chorus, one last time....... Chorus Angie baby, you're a special lady Livin' in a world of make believe....well maybe Again, what in hell does he mean by "well maybe"? Is this all a figment of Angie's imagination??? Well....maybe. HOWEVER!!!! It can't be Angie's imagination because the paper acknowledged that the boy was missing & presumed dead. So exactly what is going on in this song??? It sounds to me that the writer didn't even know what was going on here. I don't know, maybe you just had to be high to get it. If this was a trip through the mind of an insane person, our writer did a damn good job of illustrating it. Is this song stupid??? Well....maybe. Is it inane???? Well....maybe. Does the fact that this song makes absolutely no sense piss me off??? Well....DEFINITELY!!!! I wish that Mr. O'Day could explain this one. I simply can't make heads or tails out of this one. It simply sounds like a trip into The Twilight Zone & Mr. O'Days' insistence on leaving us hanging, like so much dirty laundry, aggravates the hell out of me.....MAYBE!!! I haven't heard of him in awhile, could Angie have paid him back for torturing her, as well as the rest of us as he did???? Well......HOPEFULLY!!!!! (Message edited by Juicefree20 on May 10, 2004) (Message edited by Juicefree20 on May 10, 2004) (Message edited by Juicefree20 on May 10, 2004) | ||
Vonnie (vonnie) 4-Laureate Username: vonnie Post Number: 103 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 64.12.116.138 |
Has anyone mentioned the most errgish(is that a word?) group known to mankind? THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY - This was the most dysfunctional group of fakes that ever existed. However, I must include one their "toons"(tunes) on the thread that lists songs that express an emotion. Please see that thread for the song. | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 6-Zenith Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 701 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
I didn't see that Vonnie but I'll Meet You Halfway |
