By Nancy (64.12.97.7) on Thursday, June 12, 2003 - 11:05 pm:

I wrote this article and it was published in issue#3 of the gilda's club newsletter. Gildas Club was named after Gilda Radner and provides support to Men women and children who are impacted by Cancer in their lives, one of the things that got me through my fathers death was my love of music, I think the article explains the rest
Fifteen years ago, cancer came into my life. During those fifteen years cancer took a lott from me, but it gave me a lot too. Little did I know that something so horrible could give me so much. Since prostate cancer claimed my father and his best friend. I have made it my missison to get more out of life. that opportunity happened two years ago when I was cruising the internet. I hit one of my favourite sites on the Temptations and found a bulletin advertising a benefit for the Damon Harris Cancer Foundation. I phoned expecting to just donate money; instead Tim Marshall invited me down.

I have never had so much fun in my life. Tim had made sure that everyone knew who I was, so each time I introduced myself everyone responded by saying oh yeah your Nancy from Toronto. That one night has grown into an amazing friendship; part of that friendship has allowed me to live every music fans dream. Last January they took me back stage to meet the members of my all time favourite group the Temptations. These were just a bunch of regular guys having some food before their performance, but they took the time to meet and chat with me as have other members of the music industry. Since my introduction to the temptations, Larry and Tim have taken me to see other artists; these have included Maxine Brown, the spinners and The Intruders. I have been able to sit and talk with these people and see some incredible shows.

Cancer has allowed me to live every music fan's dream and to help me keep my fathers memory closer to my heart

By Vickie (198.81.26.231) on Thursday, June 12, 2003 - 11:16 pm:

Beautiful Nancy!
And I know your story will touch so many others..

wondeful , wonderful

Vickie

By STUBASS (152.163.252.68) on Thursday, June 12, 2003 - 11:52 pm:

WOW NANCY!!!...IT IS INDEED *MY* HONOR TO HAVE A PERSON SUCH AS YOURSELF IN ANY WAY ASSOCIATED WITH MYSELF OR ANY THEORITICAL CONSTRUCT WHICH BEARS MY NAME (A STUBASS "ANGEL" IN YOUR CASE)!!!...THANKS FOR MENTIONING PROSTATE CANCER!!!...MY DAD...NOW ALMOST 87 YEARS YOUNG...HAD A BOUT WITH PROSTATE CANCER ABOUT 8 OR 9 YEARS AGO!!!...FORTUNATLY,,,HE WAS DIAGNOSED EARLY...AND FOLLOWING SIX WEEKS OF RADIATION THERAPY AND SOME MEDICATION...HE HAS COMPLETELY RECOVERED!!!...I JUST HAD MY PROSTATE EXAM (NOT MUCH FUN...BUT WORTH IT)...AND A PSA BLOOD TEST!!!...FORTUNATLY...THEY BOTH CAME BACK NORMAL!!!...EVERY MALE OVER THE AGE OF 50 (I *JUST* GOT THERE)...SHOULD HAVE THOSE CHECKUPS ANNUALLY (OR ANAL-LY)!!!...IT'S IMPORTANT!!!...THANKS FOR SHARING THAT!!!...STU("ANGEL DADDY")BASS

By 1Wicked (24.126.64.120) on Friday, June 13, 2003 - 02:45 am:

Nancy: Are you referring to "Teacher" Tim ?? If so...we "met" thru another forum and he is one heckuva guy !! He has done much for "his" kids (students) and has introduced them to many musical greats...making sure they know about real music instead of *just* the usual crap heard on radio.

By Nancy (152.163.252.68) on Friday, June 13, 2003 - 07:42 am:

Hey Stu I am glad your dad is ok you are right getting those checkups can save your life, I spent along time being angry at Dad because he did not take care of himself. The bottom line is you do not need to die from this disease. Wicked Teacher tim is actually another tim, Tim Marshall who I refer to in the story is host of the Rhythmn and Blues showcase and has a benefit every year to support a different charity. He is an amazing man, his goal is to help a charity but also to provide a venue so fans can meet their favourite performers

By KevGo (64.115.26.80) on Friday, June 13, 2003 - 12:49 pm:

Nancy:
Thank you for your story of courage & strength.

I recently lost a dear friend to colon cancer who could've lived if he took the time to be treated.

I encourage everyone as we get older to PLEASE get a thorough examination once a year. The saying is true - an ounce of prevention equals a pound of cure.

Kevin Goins - KevGo

By nancy (205.188.209.109) on Friday, June 13, 2003 - 01:31 pm:

You are so right KevGo anyone who goes to Gilda's will tell you the same thing, but another thing that they will tell you is about the power of music, music got me through one of the worst times in my life, and that is why forums like this one are so important so we can celebrate our love of music

By John Lester (62.49.61.57) on Friday, June 13, 2003 - 02:06 pm:

I wasn't going to post on this thread but I feel I now ought to.

I am one of the lucky ones. At the end of May 1980, I discovered that I had testicular cancer. A chance meeting with my doctor for a slight pain then led to an immediate hospital admittance on 4 June and removal took place on 6 June. Let me tell you, it ain't nice. To then be told that only time will tell whether the cancer has spread - well, that ain't nice either. I had to forget about ever becoming a father!

I remember the long hours in bed, alone, going over and over what had happened. Why me, just why me?

BUT....I had this theatre ticket to see Marvin Gaye in concert in August 1980 - I just had to see him again before it was too late and even though it seemed impossible that I could get to go, I had to think of a way to get out of the hospital for one night. With all the tests that I was then having, how on earth was I going to be well enough. But when your chips are down, there is something inside you that tells you to do something like FIGHT. And by jove, I fought with all my might. I was going to go to see Marvin whatever it took.

A few weeks before the concert, I had a lymph gland test. Huge 6 inch needles containing dye were injected between each of my toes, then small incisions were made at the joins of my legs and feet to see whether the dye was travelling uninterrupted through my body and not blocked by cancer growths. My body was still able to heal the cuts but unless those small incisions healed quickly, the doctors would not allow me out of hospital to go to the concert for fear of the wounds opening with just the slightest pressure. The days drifted slowly, but I took away the horrible thoughts with good thoughts, I took to chatting to the other patients, trying to cheer them up, making myself busy by helping out here and there in the hospital.

Now what goes around, comes around...

My body got itself to a point where the doctors allowed me out for just 36 hours just to see Marvin. The joy and thrill of just being in that audience for Marvin Gaye was a personal triumph. I was mighty pleased I was there cos in my book I was on the way to beating the dreaded "C"...I still had a long way to go but I had got over the first hurdle.

Radiotherapy and chemotherapy followed thereon in an Oncology unit. I lost many friends along the way but it was my music that kept me going. I missed out on 18 months of my life but I am thankful to still be here and I can only thank myself lucky that it was caught in time.

KevGo talks about an examination once a year - I go further, check yourself ALL the time. If you see anything that looks odd - DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT THERE AND THEN. If you catch it in time, there is help at hand. I still have regular check ups every year.

Just one last point..it's not ONLY about you, it's also about the family and friends that are left behind!

By MEL&THEN SOME (217.14.178.3) on Friday, June 13, 2003 - 02:23 pm:

Right on John,
I have lost a few family members 5 in all
the first being an elder brother in 1977 with Luekemia
and he had to endure Lumber punctures that were 6 inch needles in his back almost every day as well as at the age he wasc of 21 all his hair falling out.
sadly his life ended aged 21 when he was studi-ing for a degree in Humanities at the time.

Had everything going for him,
and it ended,
I always think at times
there was our kid,had a good career before him,young and carefree
and there was me,
a bit of a scally and at times chancing my arm with the law etc and I am still (luckily)relativley quite fit.

I always remember him actually recieving the last rites one night,
and next day expecting the worse
was up and about.
crazy,to say the least.
The drugs were obviously kicking in big time.

Never told this before but I prayed for him one night I Was aged 17 at this time,
didnt tell anyone and when we visited him that night in his usual state of semi-unconciuosness
as the family were leaving the Hospital ward
myself being the last about to leave,
our kid opened his eyes and smiled and whispered to me
Dont worry,I heard your prayers and have been in touch.

Well believe me,
I was almost in a bed next to him after that bombshell.

The powers that be
totally unbelievable.

So good luck to you John and everyone else
Live Life.
mel.

By soulboy (213.105.242.238) on Friday, June 13, 2003 - 02:34 pm:

If anyone can beat or has beaten cancer, then i am extremely glad for them. I speak as someone who is currently witnessing a close relation fading away as the result of cancer.I can honestly say it is a horrible,horrible disease.
If anything can be done to diagnose early detection then please do it. By the way i am extremely interested to know if all or only certain types of cancer can be detected.

By John Lester (62.49.61.57) on Friday, June 13, 2003 - 03:01 pm:

Mel....I saw that happen in my hospital ward - in the next bed too - and as you point out, you never forget it.

My hair also fell out, my stomach lining wouldn't replace itself so I was constantly sick; the nails on my hands and toes would fall off with chemotherapy. I didn't have the 6 inch needles in my back but I saw the guys who did and I heard them scream. Even now, it's hard to deal with the memory. I would see men wait until they were 65 and retired before they would fix up an appointment to see a doctor for something that they had "put up with" for a few years. Then it was just TOO late. They should have gone to have it checked out IMMEDIATELY.

I was still in hospital when I watched Bob Champion win the Grand National horse race on Aldaniti. Bob Champion also had testicular cancer. He didn't win the race for the horse fans, he won it for all of us who were suffering with the dreaded "C".

Soulboy, the medical profession can do SO much more these days. It's not all doom and gloom. Please give your contact your support - try to take them away from the bad and dwell on the good. From my personal experience, if you can make someone laugh, you will find it is the best medicine around.........and it's free.

And I can never say this enough.....it is not ONLY about the ones who will leave us, it is also about the ones who will be left behind.

By MEL&THEN SOME9 (217.14.178.3) on Friday, June 13, 2003 - 03:06 pm:

That Bob Champion film had me in tears man.
mel.

By John Lester (62.49.61.57) on Friday, June 13, 2003 - 03:12 pm:

YOU, ME and all of us...

THAT is pain with a capital "P"

By RaLPH (209.240.198.62) on Friday, June 13, 2003 - 03:25 pm:

John,
You had quite the ordeal. I'm glad things worked out and I was able to know you.

By STUBASS (152.163.252.68) on Friday, June 13, 2003 - 03:36 pm:

THE REALLY "NICE" THING ABOUT MY RECENT PROSTATE EXAM WAS THAT...SOMEHOW...I WALKED OUT OF THE DOCTORS OFFICE WEARING A REALLY BEAUTIFUL ENGAGEMENT RING...ALTHOUGH I DON'T RECALL BEING PROPOSED TO???...STU(WAAA HAPPENED)BASS

By Ralph (209.240.198.62) on Friday, June 13, 2003 - 03:44 pm:

Stu,
this reminds me of a Fred Saxon story. Before he was married and still out in the singles scene he was having a prostate check by his attractive, single, female doctor. During the procedure he suggested that they have an affair. She replied " I think we already are ".

By STUBASS (64.12.97.7) on Friday, June 13, 2003 - 03:48 pm:

EXCEPT MY DOCTOR'S FIRST NAME IS "CHRISTOPHER"!!!...STU(WHO WUDDA THUNK IT)BASS

By John Lester (62.49.61.57) on Friday, June 13, 2003 - 04:02 pm:

Ok.....I'm gonna be light hearted too. Here is my laughter story.

I goes into hospital for a check up. The hospital is Bart's and it's a teaching hospital. Doc says to me....

Dr: John, I have some students who want first hand patient experience, will you talk to them?

Me: Doc - no problem, anything you want.

Dr: John - you know that you had a prosthesis sewn in as a replacement, do you mind if I use you to show the students the difference between the start of a tumour growth and the small stitching used for the prosthesis

Me: Doc - no problem.

So I goes into this room and there are 12 students there. 11 men and 1 woman! The 11 guys all take it in turns to feel my testicles (or lack of them). You can guess who is the last one! This poor girl comes up to to me and you could see that she was embarrassed. So I tried to be medical with her and honourable and I said to her, can you see that there is a whole lot of difference between a normal testicle and a false one. She replied really quietly.....but I never felt a normal one before!!

Oooops!

By nancy (205.188.209.109) on Friday, June 13, 2003 - 04:43 pm:

John I am so glad you got to see marvin It is amazing what music can do!!Soulboy if you log on to keyword Gildas Club you might find a Gildas Club in your area it is a great place to go for support for both you and your friend, check it out and let me know. The one common message in everyone's posts is early detection can save your life and that can only happen if you have regular check ups and know your body, if you are suspicious of the least thing get it checked it maybe nothing but if it is something you can get it looked after right away. Remember this also affects your family and friends, if anyone out there has a friend or a family member or they have cancer check out the Gilda's club website if there is one in your area it a great place to go to for support

By Carl Dixon London (62.31.40.155) on Saturday, June 14, 2003 - 04:29 am:

Thank you for sharing this valuable information, all of you. Nancy, I understand your comments, especially the last one on the first post. Ironic that you have been able to achieve something you may not have ordinarily done otherwise.

John, thank you too, for sharing this difficult experience in your life. I am so pleased I have met you.

I have had a couple of tragedies in the family and am mindful of what else could happen. It seems that both these people have given me a drive and ambition that certainly would not have been so strong, had they still been around today. I know their sense of humour was with them until the end, well, at least as far as it could go. When my best friend passed away, I was with him and said goodbye. He enriched my life and I think about him daily. He would be so pleased I went to the East Coast recently and met those who were responsible for the music we loved back then. He was never musical, just loved the same stuff I did, although he was a little more sophisticated, with his tastes. I remember he would buy the latest Stevie Wonder releases and I never understood, because I did not like synths and even back then, I felt they devalued musical skills and the general sound of proper instruments. He moved with the times and still liked the old stuff. Now, all these years later, I know why.

By Nancy (205.188.209.109) on Saturday, June 14, 2003 - 08:43 am:

Carl: you are right it is very ironic that I have been able to live every music fans dream I think about that alot. I think you are right your friend would be pleased that you went to the east coast recently, he sounds as if he was an amazing human being

By P.M. Berton (208.39.161.193) on Friday, June 20, 2003 - 11:02 am:

Beautiful article Nancy. I missed the Damon Harris benefit, and would like to hear more about the Event. I would have surely come. Where was it held. Also will there be anymore Benefits where we can meet the recording artists.

By JoB (204.42.12.2) on Monday, June 23, 2003 - 05:15 am:

Nancy, your story is very inspiring, to me especially, since breast cancer took my mother from me when I was 7 years old. I also think it's really neat the way you put it, "what cancer GAVE to me", referring to your musical aspirations. I guess if I look at it that way, I'd have to say that cancer "gave" me my little sister, who is 6 years old now. You see, my father remarried, and he and my stepmother adopted her when she was born, and I just can't imagine life without her :o)

God Bless

By DJ (130.156.140.2) on Monday, June 23, 2003 - 11:00 pm:

Very inspiring Nancy.