By STUBASS (205.188.209.38) on Monday, April 14, 2003 - 01:29 am:

TERRANA'S OF THE MALE SPECIES: I WAS WITH BRUCE THE OTHER NIGHT...WHEN HE PULLED INTO A DARK CUL-DE-SAC...LEANED OVER...AND ASKED ME IF I KNEW OF FOUR GUYS WHO COULD MAKE A RUN UP NORTH...TIE UP RUSS...AND BRING HIM BACK TO LOS ANGELES IN THE TRUNK OF A 66 LINCOLN TOWN CAR FOR THE APRIL 23RD APPEARANCE OF HIS OLD FRIENDS..."THE FUNK BROTHERS"!!!...I TOLD BRUCE THAT RALPH HAD NOT EXPRESSED ANY PLANS TO VENTURE TO LOS ANGELES FOR THE OCCASSION AS WELL...AND THAT WHILE I COULD HANDLE FOUR GUYS...EIGHT WOULD BE TOUGH...IN THAT A FEW OF THEM ARE OVER IN IRAQ AND MAY NOT BE BACK IN TIME!!!...SO RALPH...WAAAAASUP???...I'VE GOT YOUR TICKETS...AND BRUCE SAID HE'D POP FOR TWO BOWL'S OF PEA SOUP AT "SPLIT PEA ANDERSONS" AT THE BUELLTON EXIT OFF THE 101!!!...SO WASSSSSUP???...A MILLER CHALLENGE

By Ralph (209.240.198.62) on Monday, April 14, 2003 - 03:04 pm:

Stu,
Can you e-mail me on this? I'm trying to work it out. Thanks for the invite.

By STUBASS (205.188.209.38) on Monday, April 14, 2003 - 03:46 pm:

E-MAIL DONE...IT'S ON YOU GUYS...I WANT TO SEE BRUCES FACE LIGHT UP WHEN HE HEARS THAT RUSS IS COMING.(I'VE WORRIED ABOUT THOSE TWO FOR A LONG TIME)!!!...MAKE IT HAPPEN...WE NEED YOU GUYS HERE!!!...STUBASS

By Ralph (209.240.198.62) on Monday, April 14, 2003 - 03:56 pm:

Check your home e-mail Stu.

By Ralph (209.240.198.62) on Monday, April 14, 2003 - 05:16 pm:

OK..Stu, Brucie, Larry, Blondie, Funks, etc., etc. LOOK OUT!!! I'm coming down. to quote Randy N....I LOVE L.A.!!

By STUBASS (205.188.209.38) on Monday, April 14, 2003 - 05:18 pm:

L.A. MAY NEVER BE THE SAME!!!...STUBASS

By Ralph (209.240.198.62) on Monday, April 14, 2003 - 05:26 pm:

Or maybe I'll never be the same Stu. Good talking to you on the phone just now. Hey Angels!! I just talked to THE MAN!

By 1wicked (24.126.64.120) on Monday, April 14, 2003 - 11:10 pm:

Stu...u may need to get out the car biz & get into political fundraisers. It's obvious u know how to "schmooze" and put a party together !! LOL

By STUBASS (205.188.209.38) on Monday, April 14, 2003 - 11:20 pm:

HEY WICKED: YEAH...BUT IT SURE GETS HECTIC BEHIND THE SCENES!!!...I'M NOT SURE THAT I COULD DO THIS FOR A LIVING...BUT I DID MANAGE TO PICK UP A NEW "ANGEL"!!!...CALL ME...STU

By Ralph (209.240.198.62) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 09:17 am:

Stu is vey good at schmoozing. I thought it would be great if my production partner, Teddie Morrow, could go to LA. with GF Darlene and me to see the Brothers. I offered Stu any next borns in my future OR Darlene if he could secure one more ticket. The shrewd business man that he is he told me he wasn't going to wait 18 plus years to take possesion of my offspring so he opted to take Darlene as his newly acquired Angel ( which she truly is ). Darlene, upon learning of the transaction, was somewhat upset with me and wanted to know if she was considered barter, and just what her duties as a Stu Angel would be. I assured her Stu was an uncompromising gentleman and said " After all Dar, it's all for the Funks ". Being the Funk Fan that she is she realized I had made a proper deal.
So Stu...What exactly are the dutes of one of your Angels???

By STUBASS (64.12.97.7) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 10:28 am:

DARLENE: HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR MY DEAR...AS RALPH HAS ENLISTED YOU IN ONLY THE NOBELIST AND HIGHEST CALLING FOR A PERSON OF YOUR UPSTANDING CHARACTER!!!...YES...I DO DRIVE A HARD BARGAIN...BUT WE MUST LIVE BY "THE GOLDEN RULE" HERE...THAT BEING..."HE WHO HAS THE GOLD MAKES THE RULES" (IN THIS CASE THE GOLD BEING THOSE "FUNK BROTHERS" TICKETS)!!!...YOUR DUTIES AS A "STUBASS ANGEL" ARE VARIED AND DIVERSE (PERHAPS ONE OF YOUR SISTER ANGELS COULD GIVE YOU MORE DETAILS)...HOWEVER...THE TRUE MEANING OF "ANGELDOM" LIES AT THE ROOT OF MUTUAL RESPECT AND ADMIRATION...AND HAS ONLY THE MOST INNOCENT...ALTRUISTIC...AND PLATONIC INTENTIONS (UNLESS ONE HAPPENS TO BE A GEOGRAPHICALLY ADVANTAGEOUS AND UNATTACHED "HOTTIE")!!!...THERE IS A BUSINESS ASPECT TO ALL THIS HOWEVER...AS I HAVE DETERMINED...FROM THE OLD EXPRESSION..."TIME IS MONEY AND MONEY IS TIME"...THAT PERHAPS THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT WOULD ALLOW STUBASS CERTAIN TAX DEDUCTIONS BASED ON THE TIME HE SPENDS THINKING ABOUT AND CONCENTRATING ON HIS "ANGELS"...WHICH AT A STANDARD CONSULTING RATE OF $ 100.00 PER HOUR...AND THERE BEING 24 HOURS IN A DAY... TO WHICH STUBASS IS FOCUSED SOLEY ON THE WELL BEING OF HIS ANGELS...COULD ENABLE ME TO SHELTER A GREAT PORTION OF MY INCOME!!!...PERHAPS I WILL SEEK THE ASSISTANCE OF THAT LAW FIRM "DEWEY, CHEETEM, AND HOWE"... FOR ADVICE AS TO HOW TO GO ABOUT SEEKING THIS EVASION...OOPS...I MEAN AVOIDANCE OF MY TAX LIABILITIES!!!...IN THE MEANTIME...I AM MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING YOU AND ENJOYING THE "FUNK BROTHERS" L.A. APPEARANCE!!!...I'M SURE THAT YOU WON'T MIND SIGNING THE W-9 TAX FORM THAT I WILL HAVE PREPARED FOR YOU... AUTHORIZING ME TO CLAIM YOU AS A LEGITIMATE DEDUCTION ON MY "03" TAX RETURNS!!!...LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU ALL!!!...STU(BOUND FOR FEDERAL PRISON)BASS

By SisDetroit (68.42.209.170) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 11:24 am:

Ralph - You can assure Darlene that StubBass protects his Angels from non-soul music. He instructs them on the best musicians, soul-groups and solos. He lets them know who should go on the Errggg list, and let's them know when it's 100 degrees in Cal, while assuring them that the snow up north will subside soon. He plays great golf, and sells only the best cars, while giving you a great deal in the process. He is a good look out.

Darlene is in good hands.

By Ralph (209.240.198.62) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 02:40 pm:

Thanks Sis. There is no doubt in my mind that Stu is a stand-up guy.

By Vickie (64.236.243.31) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 03:06 pm:

These Funk threads are depressing me, I can't read them, all the excitement and I will miss it. As of now I can't make it to this Arpil 23rd show..
I am really hoping that the pilot I have taping that night goes away, as they sometimes change days or altogether cancel..
I can't get out of my real job duties to be with you all as of now and it's very discouraging..
BUT BUT BUT...if you all go somewhere after...I know I'll be working late and I would love to catch up with you and do late night adult beverages with you..I'll email my numbers to Ralph and Stu...

signed,
sad about this in Burbank
Blondie

By STUBASS (152.163.188.68) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 03:22 pm:

VICKIE: PERHAPS AN ANONOMOUS PHONE TIP TO THE WARNER STUDIOS THAT ON THE 23RD OF APRIL...THAT AN OLD...AND I MEAN OLD ENEMY OF JACK WARNER IS PLANNING A REVENGE ATTACK...NEVER MIND...I COULD BE SITTING IN THE L.A. COUNTY JAIL WHILE THE "FUNKS" ARE ON STAGE PERFORMING...BUT...I HOPE THAT THE PILOT PLANNED FOR THAT NIGHT GETS CANCELLED TO BE REPLACED WITH SOME SORT OF CANNINE BEAUTY PAGEANT!!!...HOWS THAT???...STU

By Ralph (209.240.198.62) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 03:56 pm:

Sorry to hear about this Vickie. I was hoping we would all be at the concert together. Send me your #'s and we'll see what develops.

By Vickie (64.236.243.31) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 04:03 pm:

I do have my fingers crossed..
I have had 3 pilots this season move or cancel, so it could happen..I'll know more after they do their first run thru and get the network notes..

yeah - not a good idea on that attack thing...
we'd both be in jail...

Signed,

Hanging On In There Baby
cause There Ain't No Mountain High Enough to keep me way from The Funk Brothers -
I'll let you know What's Going On

Peace,
Blondie

By STUBASS (205.188.209.38) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 04:34 pm:

WELL VICKIE...YOU'RE SURE A "WONDERFUL ONE"!!!...STU

By 1wicked (24.126.64.120) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 05:21 pm:

Vickie...hopefully you're dealing with temperamental stars who will refuse to come out of their dressing rooms from the 21st or so on....maybe some kind of contract snafu, refusal to work with an animal for fear of being upstaged, wrong color M&M's in dressing room, or something... (and that such a problem/cancellation will not cause you any unnecessary stress of any kind....)

By Vickie (64.236.243.31) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 05:31 pm:

1 Wicked,

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I can tell you've been around...the pilots changed because of network and script demands, usually stars don't get a chance to be a diva really until they go to series..

LOLOLOL - I have seen and experienced all of the things you speak of..

tee,hee, hee

Vickie

By 1wicked (24.126.64.120) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 07:15 pm:

Oh...no problem from the guy who just graduated from "Do you want fries with that" by night and "3rd guy with crutch in hallway"/ scene 37 by day (looking for his motivation to look pained !!) ?? LOL

By DetroitDar (205.188.209.38) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 07:41 pm:

Stubass: It seems I have been thrust (through no action of my own) into a highly coveted position...that of a Stubass Angel. Although I feel unworthy to accept such an honor, I will indeed attempt to live up to the high expectations associated with this title.
I must admit however that I'm finding the definition a bit vague, and having never thought of myself as the angelic type...I may need some help in order to get this right. Is there a Stubass Angel Institute for the newest member of your flock to enroll in, or maybe a Stubass Angel Symposium to attend? :>
Darlene

By STUBASS (64.12.97.7) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 07:45 pm:

DARLENE "ANGEL": THE STUBASS "ANGEL" QUALIFICATION IS...EITHER YOU GOT IT OR YOU DON'T...AND DARLENE "ANGEL"...YOU GOT IT!!!...NOW GO FIGURE THE REST OUT FOR YOURSELF...ALTHOUGH A CONFERENCE WITH SOME OF THE OTHER "ANGELS" IS NOT PROHIBITED!!!...WELCOME...STUBASS

By Ralph (209.240.198.62) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 08:07 pm:

Stu,
I gotta tell you pal. You just got yourself one hell of an Angel.

By STUBASS (205.188.209.38) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 08:10 pm:

BUT RALPH: WOULD YOU EXPECT STUBASS TO SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS???...

By Ralph (209.240.198.62) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 08:15 pm:

A resounding " NO " to that Stu. However a small word of caution. She's Irish. Don't piss her off!

By SisDetroit (68.42.209.170) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 08:18 pm:

Welcome DARLENE!! Please come back. If you go to the Funk Brothers' concert, let us know how you liked it.

By STUBASS (152.163.188.68) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 08:23 pm:

YIKES RALPH: IRISH HUH???...I'VE HEARD ABOUT THOSE WOMEN...A FRIEND OF MINE WHO LIVED IN THE U.K. STILL HAS A SCAR WHERE AN IRISH WOMAN HE WAS DATING WENT UPSIDE HIS HEAD WITH A BEER BOTTLE...TRUE STORY!!!...BUT I'M SURE THAT DARLENE WOULD AT LEAST HAVE THE COMMON COURTESY TO USE A PLASTIC BOTTLE IS SHE EVER GOT THE URGE!!!...LORD HELP ME!!!...STU(POTENTIAL METAL PLATE IN HEAD)BASS

By Ralph (209.240.198.62) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 08:29 pm:

Fortunately your newest Angel is not the violent type in the least. She wil however twist your logic around like a corkscrew and have you talking to yourself in no time flat. She's very smart Stu my man.

By STUBASS (152.163.188.68) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 08:38 pm:

NO PROBLEM RALPH!!!...I ALREADY SPEND A GREAT DEAL OF TIME TALKING TO MYSELF!!!...STU

By SisDetroit (68.42.209.170) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 09:06 pm:

Stu - You are so crazy. I am ROFL.

By STUBASS (205.188.209.38) on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 11:55 pm:

OK...IT'S ALL SETTLED!!!...NUMEROUS THREATS...ATTEMPTED KIDNAPPINGS...AND THREATENED EXPULSION FROM THE TERRANA FAMILY ...HAVE CONVINCED ONE RUSS TERRANA TO BE HERE IN L.A. WITH US ON THE 23RD FOR THE FUNKS CONCERT!!!...AND RUSS...YOU HAD BETTER HAVE SOME GOOD...AND NEW...JOKES FOR ME...OR ALL BETS ARE OFF!!!...STUBASS

By DetroitDar (198.81.26.231) on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 - 01:04 am:

Sis: Thanks for the welcome.
I am indeed a lucky angel as the 23rd will begin with the Traveling Terrana Brothers, followed by the one and only Stubass...
Few besides the mighty Funks could follow acts like these!

Stu: Fear not, your head is safe with this angel.

By 1wicked (24.126.64.120) on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 - 08:26 am:

Stu...talking to one's self is not uncommon. When you start answering...then we call the cookie mobile for your trip to the padded Enchanted Forest.
Also..since I'll be in your unique and distinctive company on the 23rd.....I'll be happy to catch any Angels that happen to fall from grace. (What are friends for ???)

By STUBASS (205.188.209.38) on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 - 10:31 am:

DARLENE: MY FIRST HOPE IS THAT MY NEWEST "ANGEL" *SURVIVES* THE TRIP WITH THE TRAVELLING TERRANA BROTHERS...AND IS DELIVERED TO LOS ANGELES IN GOOD WORKING ORDER!!!...PLEASE GUYS...SIDE TRIPS ARE STRICTLY *OUT*(I KNOW THAT RUSS HAS ALWAYS HAD A DESIRE TO SEE WHATS BEHIND THE WALLS OF SOLEDAD PRISON)!!!...AND IF YOU SHOULD HAPPEN TO DRIVE THE SCENIC COAST HIGHWAY ROUTE...WITH NOTHING BUT OCEAN AND CASCADING CLIFFS TO THE RIGHT...PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT THE "ANGEL" IS SITTING SOMEWHERE ON THE *LEFT* SIDE OF THE CAR...OR COVERED WAGON (WHATEVER YOUR CURRENT MODE OF TRANSPORTATION)!!!...1WICKED:...THERE HAS *NEVER* BEEN AN "ANGEL" THAT HAS FALLEN FROM GRACE...IN THAT THE MOST EXTENSIVE AND COMPREHENSIVE INVESTIGATION AND SCREENING PROCESS IS UTULIZED *BEFORE* ANY INDUCTION INTO "ANGELHOOD"...PLUS...THEY ARE ALL REQUIRE TO CARRY "COSTCO " CARDS AT ALL TIMES...SO IF I SEE ANY "ANGELS" GOING DOWN...I'LL KNOW THAT THEY'VE BEEN TRIPPED...AND THERE WILL BE NOTHING SHORT OF THE MOST SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES FOR ANY SUCH PERPETRATOR!!!...PS...CALL ME BY THIS WEEK...AS I AM TAKING THE WEEKEND OFF...AND MOST LIKELY GOING TO THE DESERT ON MONDAY AND TUESDAY TO SHARPEN MY SKILLS AT PGA WEST (STADIUM COURSE) IN LA QUINTA (MEL...THE GOT TWO STORY HIGH BUNKERS THERE)...BUT WILL BE BACK LATE TUESDAY!!!...IF ANYONE HAS ANY SUGGESTIONS AS TO ANY FUN THINGS TO DO NEXT WEDNESDAY NIGHT...PLEASE LET ME KNOW...AS I AM SHOWING NOTHING PLANNED FOR THE 23RD...PERHAPS A GROUP OF US COULD GO ROLLER SKATING OR SOMETHING!!!...LET ME KNOW!!!...STUBASS

By Ralph (209.240.198.62) on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 - 10:58 am:

Stu,
No need to worry. it's 101 all the way down in Teddie's big, comfy, safe Cadillac. No covered wagons for this trip. Also, e-mail me (or I can call ) regarding the location of the dealership. We'll stop there to see you on Wednesday when we hit town.

By STUBASS (64.12.97.7) on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 - 01:51 pm:

RALPH: JUST GIVE ME A CALL AT WORK TODAY IF YOU CAN...(805)371-5500!!!...ALSO...BRUCE ASKED THAT IN THE EVENT YOU TAKE HIM UP ON HIS OFFER OF FREE "PEA SOUP" AT THE BUELLTON EXIT...PLEASE FURNISH HIM WITH A RECIEPT (NO SOUP ON THE RECIEPT PLEASE)...STUBASS