| Author | Message | ||
  Dinelle (dinelle_watson) 3-Pundit Username: dinelle_watson Post Number: 64 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 68.222.55.92 |
Hi everyone. Dinelle here. Listen. I won't be posting on the forum as much this week. It's sad news to say, but my Aunt Maureen just died yesterday from cancer. I'm still recuperating from the shock. Have any of you had relatives who were close to you that died from cancer in the past? | ||
Moe (moe) 4-Laureate Username: moe Post Number: 90 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 66.219.162.219 |
Yes Dinelle, my mother's sister passed 11 years ago from cancer. She lingered in the hospital. Every day I went to see her I would notice that they increased her pain medication (in a pump) every day. Oh, how she suffered!! It was a relief when God took her. And now 11 years later I have the fondest memories of her. I am truly sorry for your loss. God Bless & Keep Her!! | ||
Dinelle (dinelle_watson) 3-Pundit Username: dinelle_watson Post Number: 65 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 68.222.55.92 |
Thanks. That's how my aunt passed. Her cancer had gotten really bad in only a couple of weeks. It was so bad that she had to be put on a breathing respirator. In a way, I am glad that she died because the cancer was getting worse and she had pneumonia at the same time. She had to eat through a pump. The good thing about this is that she went peacefully. My mom had cancer a year ago. Surprisingly, she beat it. Shocking! I'm really greatful for her. I'm kind of scared for my cousins. They have to cope with living without her and have to rely more on my uncle. | ||
Eli (phillysoulman) 5-Doyen Username: phillysoulman Post Number: 361 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.236.46.66 |
Dinelle, My deepest sympathy goes out to youand your family. My older sister died of lung cancer in '97. It was heartbreaking to see her just wither away and age so quickly. Thing is, she hadnt smoked for ten years prior to getting sick. She had a good man who loved her deeply and would visit her grave almost every day. I miss my sister,but God had a plan and she is in a better place. | ||
Linda Di. (linda_di_fsg) 3-Pundit Username: linda_di_fsg Post Number: 38 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 66.67.201.170 |
Dinelle, my condolences to you and your family. Just trust in God. His plan far surpasses ours. My mother had not been feeling well for several years. She had been complaining of pain and was hospitalized at least 10 times, but they could find "nothing wrong with her." She turned into a different person because of constant pain. Two years ago, it was really hot and humid and she was having a hard time breathing. We took her to the ER, they drained her lungs, and told us she had lung cancer. Then it turns out it had started with breast cancer (that showed on a previous mammogram we got from her medical records, but was misdiagnosed as scar tissue from an earlier bout of BC) and now had cancer in her lungs, bones, brain. She died 4 weeks later. People said thankfully she didn't suffer long, but she had suffered for years before a diagnosis was made. She quit smoking 10 years earlier (as I have). Even though her lung cancer spread from her breast cancer, whenever I see somebody smoking, I'd like them to see the movie that plays in my head of my mom's last 24 hours. I believe they'd quit in a minute. | ||
Don (don) 4-Laureate Username: don Post Number: 134 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.75.176.147 |
Dinelle,I'll keep a candle in my window and I'll say a prayer for you and family. | ||
Eli (phillysoulman) 5-Doyen Username: phillysoulman Post Number: 363 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.236.46.66 |
I have several friends who "smoke like chimneys" Its a nasty habit and with the habit comes denial. One of the guys looks like a skeleton. He tells me he is fine. I dont think so. | ||
Linda Di. (linda_di_fsg) 3-Pundit Username: linda_di_fsg Post Number: 40 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 66.67.201.170 |
Bobby, I was in that same denial for over 30 years. And I was afraid if I quit, I'd gain weight (I was not a skinny gurl). I went to a psychologist who uses hypnosis in his various therapies (he has hypnotized people for surgery without anesthesia). We had 3 sessions and I quit a 2+-pack-a-day habit and even lost weight. It was not easy, even with the hypnosis, but once I added prayer and it got easier. Now it's no more than a faint memory and when I smell other people's smoke, it makes me very sad for them and very grateful that I could stop. If I can ever help anybody quit, I will. | ||
Dinelle (dinelle_watson) 3-Pundit Username: dinelle_watson Post Number: 66 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 68.222.55.92 |
Thanks for the sympathy, everyone. I'm starting to feel a little better already. But it still doesn't make me feel better about the fact that my aunt's gone. Maybe I'll feel better in a few days. | ||
Linda Di. (linda_di_fsg) 3-Pundit Username: linda_di_fsg Post Number: 41 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 66.67.201.170 |
Somebody once told me -- and I've found it to be true -- that the pain never goes away. But with time, you learn how to handle it, deal with it, get around it when you have to, and wallow in it when you need to. And remember that all will be well! Hang in there. | ||
Dinelle (dinelle_watson) 3-Pundit Username: dinelle_watson Post Number: 67 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 68.222.55.92 |
Thanks, Linda. | ||
Helene (helene) 3-Pundit Username: helene Post Number: 35 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 217.32.166.34 |
Dinelle, I couldn't agree more with Linda Di. I lost my brother in a road accident in 1976. Her words describe the recovery process so very well. I'll pray for you, your aunt and her family.May you all find comfort in the knowledge that she is now free from pain and in a much better place. | ||
Charise (mistrivia1) 3-Pundit Username: mistrivia1 Post Number: 61 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 198.81.26.46 |
Dinelle, I am sorry for your loss and I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I know that there are several ways to get cancer, but smoking is definitely one of them!!! How many young people do I see smoking all the time and I say to myself. "Poor things, they don't even realize what they are doing to themselves." On my job, I see this young guy, probably in his early 20's, smoking everyday. Smoking and drinking soda. Sometimes, I want to say something, but sometimes people are offended that you would tell them that you shouldn't smoke! I mean it is their right, but as a human being, I care about people's health and hate to hear about people having and dying from cancer, especially when it is related to their smoking!!! It's funny, the same people who complain about the price of gas, smoke cigarettes and we all know how expensive those are! | ||
Soul Sister (soul_sister) 6-Zenith Username: soul_sister Post Number: 543 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 65.43.156.232 |
Dinelle; I just read this, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. God Bless, S.S. | ||
SisDetroit (sis) 5-Doyen Username: sis Post Number: 173 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.42.211.240 |
Dinelli - My condolences to you and your family. | ||
T.L. Harris (tl_harris) 2-Debutant Username: tl_harris Post Number: 13 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.0.54.208 |
I can't say that I have had any close relatives that have passed away from cancer, but I would like to give you my deepest condolences to you and your family. I know this is a very sad time for your family, and you will be in my prayers. T.L. Harris | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 6-Zenith Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 857 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
Hi Dinelle. I'm sorry to hear of your loss. My first encounter with Cancer was my Aunt. Around 1965, she had Cancer. She battled it & though she lost a lot of weight, she seemed to be fine. Around the beginning of the 70s, she had a re-occurence, this time it was in her ovaries. She died in November of '71. I'll never forget it, as Al Green had Let's Stay Together out somewhere around then. It's amazing the silly things that you remember. What I'll never forget is the thoughtless nurse that broke the news to my mother. My mother called from work, to check on her sisters condition. In the background, she heard the nurse ask if that was the patient who died. My mother heard this discussion & wasn't quite prepared for it. The nurse bluntly told her that her sister had passed. When my mother remained silent, the nurse asked her if she had heard what she said. I'll never forget my mother arriving home from work, going to the bathroom & crying. I never heard my mother cry like that before & it hurt. She was my mothers' favorite sister & they were close. My mother was always angry at that thoughtless nurse. That nurse never considered that my mother could have gone into shock. She didn't know if my mother had a weak heart & she didn't try to soften the blow. Just, "Did you hear what I said." My mother never forgot that & I wish that I knew that nurses' name. In '84, my mothers husband had a massive heart attack, that partially disabled him. My mother was dealing with that situation & then, got a call from her baby sister, telling her that my grandmother had a stroke & that she needed help taking care of her. Mind you, my mother had another sister in California as well. However, this chick worked exactly ONE-HALF day in her entire life. As she was busy with her boyfriend/husband or whatever, she couldn't help care for my grandmother. My mother flew 3,000 miles to California, to help care for her mother, leaving my stepfather in my care. Wait, it gets worse! While my mother was in California, helping care for her mother, she gets a phone call from my uncle, telling her that her father died. He had Cancer & as he was living with a woman, the woman never told us that he was sick. I guess that she wanted to make sure that there was nothing for anyone to gain financially. My other then flew back to N.Y., then to North Carolina for her fathers funeral. Due to all of this, my mother ended up with high blood pressure & diabetes, which thankfully, she controlled with diet & medicine. In 1990, her husband had a ache in his shoulder, but told the doctor that it was lumbago....it wasn't. It turns out that it was bone cancer that had metasticized & he was given months to live. He died Dec 22 of that year & that was my first trip South, for his funeral on Dec 26th. I know what you've been through & I pray for you & your family. May God bless & comfort you all! Juice | ||
Robb_K (robb_k) 5-Doyen Username: robb_k Post Number: 228 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 66.81.183.107 |
Sorry to hear about your aunt, Dinelle. My deepest sympathy for you. Empathy, too, as I've lost some aunts, uncles, and even a couple of young cousins (and also a business partner and friend)to painful, dragged-out bouts with cancer. It's tough on everyone involved. Not much to say here. Just give my best wishes to you and your family. | ||
count (the_count) 3-Pundit Username: the_count Post Number: 44 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 69.14.221.162 |
Dinelle, so sorry to hear the passing of your aunt and i do know of the pain and suffering that komes with it for both the patient and family. Your aunt is now in a better place and at piece,GOD BLESS her.I was strickin with kancer in 1985 while living in Vegas and went thru many biopsies and was deklared stage 4-B.had lymphnodes removed from neck, groin, armpits, all kame back meligment NON-HODGEKINS LYMPHOMA. Was on kemo for 18 months, 10 days on 7 days off, when it spread to the liver and had bone marrow treatments, i gave up and said to my wife, thats it, i'am done, no more KEMO or Radiation, i'am sick of being sick. She said "you kant just give up and leave me and baby" (soulful daughter, BRANDY) thats when i looked at BRANDY,3hree years old only, and said "okay, kall the team of onkologysts and make the appointments, this is when i picked up the positive additute, and with all the prayers is why i'am still here. I've painted all these years and still do without a resperator, and still do lead work on kars and wear no mask, and still smoke like a chimney, you would think that it started in my lungs, but as strange as it is, my lungs are klean as a whistle. I still go for kat scans, xray's, and blood work every 6ix months for follow up, and this will go on for the rest of my life, but i plan on living forever,so far so good. Prayers are being said for you and your aunt. Thake kare Dinelle. "COUNT" | ||
DyvaNaye (westside314) 5-Doyen Username: westside314 Post Number: 389 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 209.212.74.211 |
Dinelle - God Bless...and know that you know that you know that your AUNT is out of her pain. To be absent from the bosy is to be in the presence of the Lord and free of misery and pain! I lost my father in 1996 to prostrate cancer which turned into bone cancer...I watched a vital man turn into a helpless one...and then my Sister sudddenly in 2001...one reason why along with GOD, 'music is my therapy, taking the pain from all my anatomy'.(Thanks Marvin Gaye for that phrase!) Speaking of music: If you are into Gospel, pick up Rev. Daryl Coley : 'When The Music Stops'...there is a song on there called 'God Is My Strength'. It got me through a rough time. Id like to pass that blessing onto you in you time of sorrow. GOD BLESS! DyvaNaye | ||
Chancellor of Soul (harlem_144) 4-Laureate Username: harlem_144 Post Number: 154 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 66.207.40.18 |
Hey Dinelle, Sorry to hear of your lost sweetie. I too know what it's like lose people you love. You and your family are in my prayers. God bless you, Mike Boone (Chancellor of Soul) | ||
SoniT (sonit) 2-Debutant Username: sonit Post Number: 12 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 66.106.213.162 |
Dinelle, I'm sorry to hear about your aunt's passing. My prayers and condolences go out to you and your family. My grandfather died of stomach cancer and I also have several other relatives and friends who died of cancer. It's a devastating illness. I used to work for the National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship so I know that cancer is a terrible illness. | ||
ralph (ralph) Moderator Username: ralph Post Number: 218 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 209.240.205.61 |
Dinelle, This past Holiday Season I lost my dad to Alzheimer's. It was tough watching someone who was so vital succumb to this terrible disease. Do me a favor sweetie. Some night, go out and look up. Try and contimplate the wonders of the Universe. It really can't be done. Try and understand the miracles we see and take for granted right here on Earth. There is so much we don't understand. Just try and accept the fact that we are part of a grand and wonderous plan and I have no doubts that when we leave this planet we go on to something even better. Your aunt and my father have gone to that magical place and are there waiting for us. I know this Dinelle. It will all work out. | ||
Eli (phillysoulman) 5-Doyen Username: phillysoulman Post Number: 378 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.163.30.134 |
November 16th 1989, my wife Georgette (Gigi) passed away. It happened quite suddenly and needless to say, I was not prepared for it. I was awakened at six am with what sounded like a loud snoring /gagging type sound and her eyes were rolled back in her head and she was un responsive. I freaked!! She seemed ok the night before as we were up late watching the Tempts on the Pat Sajak show. I called 911 and she was taken to the hospital which was just five minutes from our home. After working on my wife, for what seemed like an eternity, the doctor came out and said matter of factly "I'm sorry sir, you're wife didnt make it!" I said "what do you meand she didnt make it"???? All of a sudden I was alone, no wife, no life, no nothing. I just stood there in a state of shock tring to compose myself and figure out my next move. NO ONE was there with me of for me, just me as if in the middle of a deserted island. I then had the task of calling everyone, her family, my family, friends. No one could believe it. They said that her cause of death was a meningioma, a benign brain tumor which caused a seizure, and that was that. | ||
MagyarEd (magyared) 2-Debutant Username: magyared Post Number: 14 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 209.163.98.212 |
Dinelle, A wise one once said to me that the pain and the hurt of losing a loved one doesn't get any easier or better with the passing of time....it just gets a little "less worse". Hang in there! | ||
Dinelle (dinelle_watson) 3-Pundit Username: dinelle_watson Post Number: 68 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 66.157.63.28 |
Hi everyone. Again, thanks for your sympathy. My Uncle Albert, who was my aunt's husband, and my younger cousin Candace came over today. He told me a lot of stuff about my aunt's last moment and how he and his children are dealing with it. Believe it or not, my uncle and aunt had been married since 1978 at the time of her death. That's 26 years! My aunt would have been 49 in December. P.S. I'll have the obituary here tomorrow. | ||
zaya (isaiah) 3-Pundit Username: isaiah Post Number: 34 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 149.174.164.24 |
Hey, WildFlower, always understand that death is a part of life itself, and yet it is not final... It is another step along our appointed journey toward everlasting peace and serenity, an entering into a new, and as yet, undiscovered world among the living... The Departed may well have it better than we, particularly if their lives have been filled with pain and suffering... I never claim to understand one's pain, because, in fact, I can never do that... I only try to convey the sense that tomorrow is gonna be a brighter day if we just hold on... So, you, and your Uncle Al, just hold on... As my mother would oft tell me, God spares our lives because God has a plan for you... Seeing as how you bring your special teenaged joy and beauty to all of us who read your posts to this board, it may well be that it is God's plan that you continue to bring that joy and beauty into the lives of some who have lost the ability to feel such things... Think about it, WildFlower, and just keep holding on, because tomorrow's gonna be a brighter day (smile!) Peace! Isaiah | ||
~medusa~ (~medusa) 4-Laureate Username: ~medusa Post Number: 99 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 68.79.92.137 |
Dinelle~ Sorry to hear of your lost... Death always shocks us, and it has a way of piercing the depths of our hearts and souls...whether it's a Illness or a Tragic death, it hurts and only time will help us learn to live with the lost, because we never really get over it...Remember the good times and stay around those who are positive and keep positive thoughts in mind, and keep busy with something you enjoy doing. Take Care! | ||
Dinelle (dinelle_watson) 3-Pundit Username: dinelle_watson Post Number: 69 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 66.157.62.96 |
Hi Isaiah and Medusa. Thank you for your kind words. I'll definitely keep your words in mind. Just as I promised, I have my aunt's obituary. I don't have a scanner, so I can't show you the picture of her. So I had to type it out. MAUREEN BERNAL STEELE Maureen Bernal Steele, a payroll supervisor for Santa Fe Drilling Co. died Sunday of cancer at Christiana Hospital in Newark, DE. She was 48. Mrs. Steele was born in New Orleans and lived in Landenberg, PA for the past four years. She attended Epiphany Grammar School and graduated from Xavier University Prepatory and Xavier University. She worked for Santa Fe in Dallas 7 1/2 years. She was a member of Phi Gamma Nu Sorority. She was a parishioner of St. Gabriel of the Sorrowful Mother Catholic Church in Avondale, PA, and former parishioner of Epiphany Catholic Church. Survivors include her husband Albert Steele; two daughters, Renee Nicole and Candace Marie Steele; her father, Alfred Bernal; three brothers, Glenn Joseph Bernal, Alfred Spencer Bernal, and Roy Feldon Bernal; and a sister, Lynn B. Green. A mass will be said Friday at 11 a.m. at Epiphany Catholic Church, 1949 Duels St. Visitations will begin at 9 a.m. Burial will be in Mount Olivet Cemetary. Charbonnet-Labat Funeral Home handled arrangements. | ||
GOAT (goat) 4-Laureate Username: goat Post Number: 86 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 64.228.129.190 |
My Father when I was 17. Still difficult to come to terms with it. A terrible disease that hopefully gets wiped out. | ||
Destruction (destruction) 2-Debutant Username: destruction Post Number: 21 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 69.139.236.125 |
Dinelle If it wasn't for cancer, 80% of my immediate family members might still be alive. I finally saw the light and quit smoking about 3 years ago right after I had a laminectomy. Gained 20 pounds, but WTF. I tell people, I'm not a star, I'm a planet. My condolences to you and your family. | ||
~medusa~ (~medusa) 4-Laureate Username: ~medusa Post Number: 110 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 68.79.101.225 |
Dinelle, your Aunt sounds like a very special Lady~~~ Stay strong and remember how special she is. As I said before, it's gonna take a while to heal...that's normal. A friend of mine who lost her Sister, took 4 years before she could even talk about it without crying, she's ok now. So don't rush yourself Dinelle, let time be your healer, and take it day by day. My Dad left last October 17th, and I still shed tears whenever something really reminds me of him, like his house, certain songs, but I have to keep on keeping on...I know he would want me to do that...but when I feel the need to cry, I cry. Think about something funny your Aunt might say sometimes, about certain situations. You laugh and then you may even shed a tear or two, but it's alright to do that also. You'll learn to live with it in due time, your own time. (Message edited by ~medusa on May 21, 2004) | ||
zaya (isaiah) 3-Pundit Username: isaiah Post Number: 42 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 152.163.252.200 |
Medusa, we remember that day around here - at least I do, because it seemed like I could "hear the silence." Time certainly does heal the hurt, but the memory is a lot like how the rain effects an old sprain, or broken bone... It just comes outta nowhere, like when I saw those ladies on Easter Sunday... Damn, just mentioning that puts a lump in my throat... I'm out... Peace! isaiah | ||
Dinelle (dinelle_watson) 3-Pundit Username: dinelle_watson Post Number: 70 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 67.35.225.3 |
Hi, guys. Dinelle here. I'm sorry if didn't post on the forum most of the day. Especially on this thread. I was at my aunt Maureen's funeral and burial this morning. Lots of friends and family were there. Mostly from my aunt's side of the family. Our family's huge. I found out a lot of things that I didn't know about her. Like I didn't know that she had so many brothers, nor did I know that she was christened on Christmas Day. She was really special. Not to mention really pretty. No wonder my uncle Albert fell in love with her. They just celebrated their 26th wedding anniversary two weeks after my birthday back in February. It surprised me that they stayed together that long. And she was also so generous to a lot of organizations. She was a really nice aunt. She liked coming down to New Orleans during the holidays with my uncle and cousins. They would always come to my house, and it wasn't just because they were just another part of our family. But because they loved coming to our house. My aunt would always buy me these really cool clothes for Christmas and send me birthday cards...along with a check. And she and my uncle would always call me every once in a while. I can still here her voice sometimes. And for my uncle, cousins, and the rest of the Bernal, Steele, and Watson families, I thank you all for helping us through this rough time. I think we're gonna hang in there. I think we're all gonna make it. IN MEMORY OF MY AUNT: MAUREEN BERNAL STEELE DECEMBER 6, 1955-MAY 16, 2004 | ||
ralph (ralph) Moderator Username: ralph Post Number: 248 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 209.240.205.61 |
Peace, Zeke and Medusa. I hear you. | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 6-Zenith Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 994 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
Medusa, Isaiah, All that I can say is DAMN!!! Isaiah, I feel you bro, I feel you partner! | ||
zaya (isaiah) 3-Pundit Username: isaiah Post Number: 43 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 205.188.116.138 |
Hey, Ralph, thanks man... I remember reading of your father's passing at the old board, and it was so stunning in those early morning hours that it left me breathless, like "oh wow..." I called it reality kicking in, or that time when we all need to check ourselves, and understand the larger reality... It seems like the world just stops upon the death of a loved one... I am convinced that that is The Creator's larger purpose in trying to get us to forget our foolishness, and reflect deeply on our lives - if just for a minute... Juice, I'd like to say that I'm over my mother's passing, because I no longer weep so hard when I'm driving that I've got to pull over to the curb to keep out of an accident, but Easter Sunday was another dose of reality... I just thank The Creator for allowing me to live with, and manage my life without visible signs of the intermittent grief I sometimes feel... Dinelle, you're gonna be alright, and so will Uncle Al... As human beings, death is a rite of passage we all must go through... It is actually a renewal for the departed, as well as, those of us who live on... And somewhere, someone is bringing a new bundle of energy onto the planet, turning grief into joy(smile!) Hang On In There, WildFlower, I know you can make it, I know that you can...(smile!) "Let Her Cry Cause She's a Lady... Let Her Dream, 'Cause She's a Child..." Peace! Isaiah | ||
Dinelle (dinelle_watson) 4-Laureate Username: dinelle_watson Post Number: 71 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 68.222.57.204 |
Wow, Zaya. How long did it take for you to heal? | ||
zaya (isaiah) 3-Pundit Username: isaiah Post Number: 47 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 205.188.116.138 |
Well, WildFlower, it's a daily process that depends on each individual's desire to get on with their own lives... For me, it must've been about a year before I didn't think about it so much, but on ocassion it jumps up out of nowhere... As a rule, I am a person who moves on quickly from things... If I'm going to dwell on something so long, I must have a damned good reason for doing so... I realize, now, that my mother and I had 40 years of memories together, and those memories seemed to impact on a lot of life situations... Consequently, when I faced those life situations, she would come to mind, and the memory would set me off... One night, my sister and I were sitting in my truck listening to the radio and talking, and Since I Lost My Baby came on, and she just started bawling like a baby... Being strong for her, I held and comforted her, and never shed a tear... Later, when I drove off, it hit me, the soundtrack of our youth, the lyrics of the song, and how it related to our mother... "...someone just remind her, of this love she left behind her..." As a woman, it hit my sister immediately, and was devastatingly painful... For me, it snuck up out of nowhere, particularly when I was alone, like in my truck, on the way to a job... As long as I was around my lady and our children, or friends and enemies alike, I was cool(smile!) But don't let me go off into one of my reveries, or be listening to some a dat old music my mother hated - Aye! But I'm cool, now, Dinelle, and so too will you be... Death and life are two sides of the same coin, and it is the most difficult thing we have to learn in this life... I choose to give The Creator thanks for what was given me, and my siblings, and that is a mother who lived 86 very fruitful years... What more can one ask for under the circumstances??? Hey, I'm grateful and I am blessed for what I gained, not what I lost... Peace! Zeke | ||
Dinelle (dinelle_watson) 4-Laureate Username: dinelle_watson Post Number: 72 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 67.35.225.113 |
You know, this may sound weird and all, but everytime I hear a beautiful song being played on the radio, it always reminds of my uncle and aunt's wedding day. Even though I wasn't alive at the time, I still have a sense of how the day must have turned out. | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 6-Zenith Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 1000 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 56.0.96.18 |
Dinelle, Isaiah! This just goes to show you how out of so much sadness comes beauty. Do you guys realize that y'all are speaking poetry here??? The way that you're expressing yourselves & the images that you're portraying are seriously beautiful. I can only imagine the pain & finality of losing a mother. I almost lost my mother twice in the last two years & just coming that close, was painful as hell. All of those childhood memories came rushing back & even though I had to work, help care for my mentally nhandicapped sister, I had to go to that hospital EVERY DAY. nTo show you just how mothers are, she's laying there just having had her breast bone stapled together, telling me, go home & rest & take a day off from visiting her. Like that was really gonna happen! Then she embarasses me by telling me what a good son I am. I don't feel that I'm doing anything other than what I should be doing. All that I did was exactly what she's done for her children our entire lives. My debt to her is unpayable! Even if I tried to repay her, whatever I may do would be like a drop of water poured on a brush fire. Isaiah, your last two sentences are the entire point & is real as hell. I've seen people asking why, ready to curse God & everything. I can understand the sadness & the loss. But I look at it this way: If not for the grace of God, I could have been aborted, been born to a mother that didn't care about me, so many horrible things could have been my reality. But I've been blessed to have a great mother. When the time comes for us to part, which is a thought that I still can't bear to think of, I know that I'll miss her. My best friend will no longer be there for me. But for as long as I live, I will give thanks to God for allowing me the priviledge of being her son. I know that wherever I am, she'll always be with me...in my heart...in my mind, she'll be there. Dinelle, Isaiah....this has been beautiful & touching. | ||
Dinelle (dinelle_watson) 4-Laureate Username: dinelle_watson Post Number: 73 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 67.35.226.148 |
Whoa! That's deep. I don't know what I'd do without my mom. Isaiah, the last quote that you said on your last post made me realize something. That quote is actually the lyrics from the song "Wildflower". I didn't realize that until I heard the song about an hour ago. Thanks, Isaiah. | ||
Tony.C. (tonyc) 2-Debutant Username: tonyc Post Number: 26 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 195.93.33.10 |
dear DINELLE having lost all my family over the last eight years ,my sister in particular died of cancer at 49 4 years ago and my dad who i was very close to 3 years ago i know the hurt you must be feeling but the hurt gets easier thoughthe memeories get stronger remember the good time you had the mean so much by the way im TONY Cs wife lesley hold in there it does get better. | ||
Juicefree20 (juicefree20) 6-Zenith Username: juicefree20 Post Number: 1012 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 24.46.184.162 |
Bobby, I relate to your story a little too well. My experience with my wife was exactly the same as yours, without the convulsing. I think that your situation might have been harder than mine. You awoke to a situation where there might have been hope & that hope can be crushing when it's snatched away from you. My experience was much more final. There was no mad rush to a hospital, no ressuscitation attempt....nothing. I went to bed one Sunday around 2:00 A.M. a married man, only to awake 8 hours later as a widower. I was too shocked to be devastated. I can relate to the shock & hurt of it all. Fortunately I had my family to lean on. Her family sucked, she didn't have the best relationship with her family. However as usually is the case when someone dies unexpectedly, the guilt must have been heavy on them. I had no use for any of them as I considered them all to be phoney. Even worse, my son doesn't even like them. He thinks that they're despicable. Unfortunately, he's right. Yes, there are so many sides to it. However the one thing that I've found to be true is, that time does help heal some wounds. | ||
Lynn Bruce (lynn_bruce) 3-Pundit Username: lynn_bruce Post Number: 34 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 68.41.119.244 |
Listening to all these stories about your loved ones passing is starting to get that lump growing in my throat. Being a man you try to stay strong like Isaiah said.But there are times when it just sneaks up on you and smacks you right in the adams apple and you hold it together till you can get by yourself. The sorrow you all feel must at times be very painful when it hits.I can't imagine yours but I do know what it feels like. As someone that has leukimia I know my time may be a little shorter than I would like it to be.But the following story keeps me strong.----- I've been involved with psycic (Sp.)people for over thirty years and everyone of then says that we don't die we just go over to the other side.We go thru a long tunnel towards a bright light and then we start seeing all the people that passed over before us that we were close to us.According to what I know they are there to make us not feel afraid as it is a shock to us when we leave our body. My Scottish grandmother was the seventh daughter of the seventh daughter plus was born with a caul over her face.She was one that could see the other side and read your mind. She was pronounced dead by a doctor after giving birth to her forth child. She said her mother that had been dead for twenty years came into the room and sat on her bed and told her she had to go back to this side because her children needed her.She said it was so lovly over there that she wanted to stay but her mother said you can come over later and I'll be watching over you till it's your time. I know this may seem farfetched to a lot of you but all the psycics say this and it sure sounds like what every religion says is going to happen. So there must be some truth to it. I find to many coincideses for it not to be true. The hurt you all feel is of the thought of not seeing them again and the feeling of not being able to talk to them. This is what my Grandma told me to do when you want to talk to someone on the other side---- When your by yourself say their name and then talk to them-- they CAN hear you, and you WILL be seeing them again. Watch,when you go over to the other side you'll see. My Grandma never lied to me!!! Lynn | ||
ralph (ralph) Moderator Username: ralph Post Number: 265 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 209.240.205.61 |
Lynn, I'm a firm believer in all you have said. I don't want to go into it all. I just believe it to be true. | ||
Moe (moe) 4-Laureate Username: moe Post Number: 122 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 12.77.42.221 |
Lynn, I believe what you said!! | ||
Linda Di. (linda_di_fsg) 3-Pundit Username: linda_di_fsg Post Number: 57 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 165.170.128.65 |
I recently had a spiritual medium (psychic) from out of town to my home for a reading of some friends. Each reading was private. When she sat down with me, she said somebody was singing 'My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean' to me on the other side. It was my mother - Bonnie - who was an English war bride from across the ocean and who used to sing that song to me when I was a little girl. The psychic proceeded tell me things from my mother and some friends who have crossed over that were so accurate. I do believe we see our loved ones again. Having lost my mother, my Godmother, my aunt and my two closest sister-friends in a one-year period last year, that thought, along with my faith in the Lord, keeps me going! I know a young child who passed away and on his stone is inscribed "When we all meet in Heaven, what a time it will be." Amen! | ||
Dinelle (dinelle_watson) 4-Laureate Username: dinelle_watson Post Number: 74 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 66.157.61.50 |
I don't think that your story's farfetched, Lynn. Believe it or not, I've had several close encounters of the supernatural kind. And when I mean of the supernatural kind, I mean of the dearly departed. This may sound crazy, but at least a year ago, I used to see Marvin Gaye's shadow on my bedroom wall. Then my friend actually saw Tammi Terrell in her spiritual form. About a year later, I started to hear voices in sleep. It was a woman's voice. I'm guessing that it was Tammi Terrell or Selena. I'm still hearing that voice in my head. It might be one of them. It's weird, but it's cool at the same time. | ||
Dinelle (dinelle_watson) 4-Laureate Username: dinelle_watson Post Number: 75 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 68.222.33.34 |
Linda, I believe your story completely. You know, Lynn and Linda's stories gives me a thought. Maybe other people's relatives can resurrect. But it's only a thought. | ||
bigdaddyg2k4 (bigdaddyg2k4) 3-Pundit Username: bigdaddyg2k4 Post Number: 35 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 206.157.27.201 |
These are the very important people in my life that I lost, but I never, ever will forget. MARGARET LOUISE MCLEAN GAINES(PATERNAL GRANDMOTHER): DECEASED NOVEMBER 1, 1982-COMPLICATIONS FROM DIABETES-AGED 72 GWENDOLYN SCHENCK GAINES (MOTHER): DECEASED JANUARY 16, 1996-COMPLICATIONS FROM PNEUMONIA-AGED 64 GENE BRIDGES (MATERNAL UNCLE THROUGH MARRIAGE): MARCH 2, 1998-NATURAL CAUSES-AGED 67 MAGNOLIA SCHENCK (MATERNAL AUNT): APRIL 13, 1998-NATURAL CAUSES-AGED 91 RAYMOND SCHENCK (MATERNAL UNCLE): AUGUST 11, 2000-NATURAL CAUSES-AGED 71 WILLIAM HENRY "BILL" GAINES (PATERNAL GRANDFATHER): JULY 30, 2000-LENGTHY ILLNESS-AGED 88 JOHN EARVIN SCHENCK (MATERNAL HALF-BROTHER): MARCH 7, 2002-CONGESTIVE HEART FAILURE-AGED 46 LORENE BRIDGES (MATERNAL AUNT): JUNE 18, 2002-HEART ATTACK-AGED 73 DOUGLAS NATHANIEL GAINES, SR. "BILLY GEE" (FATHER)-HEART FAILURE CONTRIBUTED TO DIABETES-AGED 69 "My heart is severely pained within me, and the terrors of death have fallen upon me. Fearfullness and trembling have come upon me, And horror has overwhelmed me. And I said, "Oh, that I had wings like a dove! For then, I would fly away and be at rest." Psalm 55:4-6 | ||
bigdaddyg2k4 (bigdaddyg2k4) 3-Pundit Username: bigdaddyg2k4 Post Number: 36 Registered: 4-2004 Posted From: 206.157.27.201 |
NOTE: My father died on September 30, 2002. This is a addition to a inadvertent omission. | ||
Dinelle (dinelle_watson) 4-Laureate Username: dinelle_watson Post Number: 76 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 68.222.33.34 |
Whoa! Your maternal aunt was 91 when she died? It's funny, but my maternal great-grandma is still living. I think she's about 95 or 96. I don't know. I kind of lost count a long ago. She could be older than that. I'm hoping she's lives to be at least 100. | ||
wishfairy123 (narelle) 1-Arriviste Username: narelle Post Number: 5 Registered: 5-2004 Posted From: 211.30.28.47 |
Hi Dinelle.... So sorry also, to hear of your loss ! Yes, my mother who was aged only 48 yrs died of the dreaded cancer, also ( breast cancer ) and it was an agonising way to go, let me tell you . Somehow,I think that it is a blessing in disguise !!!( their passing )...... think about it !! Wishfairy 123 ....God Bless you and all your family ... "I feel nice, like sugar and spice " | ||
Dinelle (dinelle_watson) 4-Laureate Username: dinelle_watson Post Number: 105 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 68.222.14.178 |
BTW, Wishfairy, I'm sorry if I missed your arrival on Soulful Detroit. I don't how I could have missed it. | ||
wishfairy123 (narelle) 1-Arriviste Username: narelle Post Number: 7 Registered: 5-2004 Posted From: 211.30.28.47 |
Thanks Dinelle....for the greeting ! Wonder B told me about the website and here I am. It is nice to feel at home immediately with you people, as we all have such a lot in common. Hope you are feeling a lot better... Wishfairy 123 | ||
Dinelle (dinelle_watson) 4-Laureate Username: dinelle_watson Post Number: 107 Registered: 3-2004 Posted From: 67.35.242.121 |
Oh. So that's how you got on the site. |
